Monday, December 23, 2013

The Tree Skinner

Once the tree is home, it still has to be skinned and dressed and all of that, and that stuff is still my job.
The tree before skinning:
And after:
(You can't really see it, but the goofy limb is right there in front.)
Then, it has to be dressed:
(Yes, we have stacks of books lying around. Always.)
(And, yes, those are glowing peppers on the tree. That's how hot they are.)

Once it's dressed, it's time for the fun part, the decorating. That means a tree decorating party. The kids love the tree decorating party because it means cheese ball and sparkling cider and all sorts of fun foods (this year it meant chocolate-orange cookies). Mostly, it means cheese ball. And decorating. There's nothing better than decorating with cheese fingers, let me tell you! (They don't really do that, not anymore, but there used to be the occasional cheese print on the ornaments, especially the glass ones.)

We have a good selection of the typical glass ball ornaments, but we don't use many of them anymore in all actuality. Our collection of funky/quirky ornaments has grown too large, especially with the recent addition (last year) of Lego Star Wars "planets." I say "planets" because:
And "that's no moon," either. Here are some more of the planets, a bunch of hand-made ornaments, and a couple of dinosaurs:
Because what tree is complete without dinosaurs? Answer: none!

In the end, it's a beautiful mess of chaos, and, I suppose, that's rather what it's like living here.

Or, you know, whatever holiday it is you celebrate.


  1. Stringing lights on the tree was surprisingly low-stress this year. I can't decide if I've finally gotten the hang of it after 20 years or so of doing my own tree, or if I've stopped getting so hung up on it.

    Merry Christmas to you and your family, Andrew.

  2. Our tree is an assortment of ornaments with no rhyme or reason. We like it that way.
    No dinosaur though. Crap.
    But - we do have all the Star Trek ornaments! No tree should be without a Klingon Bird of Prey.
    Merry Christmas, Andrew!

  3. EXCELLENT tree. But what's a cheese ball? I feel like I can't go on without knowing THAT.

    Before we went to our current Mr F/Mr Bunches' proof trees, we had ornaments like that. One was a dinosaur, which I bought because we saw it in a store and I said to Sweetie "Who would want a dinosaur on their tree?" Almost instantly, my brain said "US! WE WANT IT!" (My brain is plural, in this story.)

    So I bought it and it was a cherished Xmas ornament. I have it somewhere, still.

    Merry Xmas to you and your family. I hope Santa brings you even more books to stack up.

  4. I love your tree and I love your traditions. Our tree is a bunch of random stuff. We have so many ornaments and each one has a memory attached. My favorite is the Energizer Bunny and a crawfish.

  5. Now that is a beautiful tree and all those special ornaments, well I think those will become family heirlooms to be passed on for generations.

    My gift to you was that run on sentence :)

    Have a Happy Christmas!

  6. JeffO: My light stringing was actually more complicated this year due to a faulty plug on one of the strands. But, hey, the lights are on the tree!
    Merry Christmas!

    Alex: You need to find a dinosaur for your tree. We're missing, at this point, Dr Who ornaments. No Trek ornaments are allowed. My younger son is kind of violently opposed to Trek. It's a moral stance, I believe.
    Merry Christmas!

    Briane: You don't have cheese balls...? I, um, don't know how to respond to that. Even LA has cheese balls. I think I know what you need for Christmas, but I don't think one would survive the mail.
    I have it on good authority that there will be books.

    Elsie: Ooh... crawfish... I had a crawfish ornament once. I wonder what happened to that?

    Anne: Hey, I like run on sentences. We don't have enough of those these days in our error of fragments, so you write all the run on sentences you want to write.

    Merry Christmas, Anne!

  7. Nice tree. Any home that isn't full of books is a home I'm not comfortable in. So I'm glad to see some lying around.

    Merry Christmas!

  8. I've got birds on my tree, but no Klingon bird of pray or anything star wars come to that. Oh well.

    Merry Christmas Andrew to you and all your family.

  9. Would it disturb you greatly to know I've never had a Christmas Tree? Merry Christmas and dinosaurs in trees and movie theaters? I'm sensing an old fad making a comeback.

  10. Perfect! And merry Christmas to you!

  11. Rusty: Most of ours are actually in boxes in the garage, but the intent is there.

    Merry Christmas to you!

    Jo: I don't think we have any birds. We did when I was a kid, though.

    Merry Christmas, Jo!

    Sheena: I think dinosaurs are always popular; at least, they are with kids. My nephew, who is two, loves them.

    Pk: And to you!

  12. Beautiful tree. I have no idea what tree skinning is. I've never had a real tree before and probably never will. I'm just too terrified of them after seeing a video of a tree bursting on fire and then burning down a home in 8 seconds flat. It literally exploded like a tank of gasoline. I was flabbergasted at how fast it happened.

  13. Dinosaurs work for everything Andrew!

  14. Michael: It's just about the netting they put over the tree to make it easier to transport.

    Maurice: They do!

  15. I know I am late in reading this and in commenting, but I read your post on hunting for and cutting your own tree. Great decoration job! Hoping you and your family had a wonderful Christmas and wishing you a Happy and a Safe New Year!

  16. G_G: We did! I hope you did, too.
    Better late than never, right?