The Road to Fiction (an IWM post)

I was asked an interesting question recently. I like interesting questions; they make you think. Well, they make me think. I don't actually know about you. I don't actually even know if you do think, because so many people don't, though I like to think that if you're reading this blog then you're a thinker, so we'll just go with that.

Anyway...

The question was, "How do you write fiction?" Let me clarify that. I get the question, "How do you write?" a lot, but I've never had the question, "How do you write fiction?" Her contention was that writing non-fiction is easy; it just requires a bit of research and putting it together in a way that's easy for the reader to take in. But she didn't know how to go about writing fiction.

* * *

I'm sure at least some of you have guessed that you need to hop over to Indie Writers Monthly to find out where "The Road to Fiction" leads.

Abandoned Places: Maunsell Forts, Star Wars, and "The Magic Cookies"

The Maunsell Forts were both naval and army forts designed by Guy Maunsell. The naval forts (like the Knock John fort pictured below) were primarily used to spot German air raids and prevent them from laying mines in the Thames. Yes, they did that by plane. The forts were built in dry dock, floated out into the estuary, and sunk there. The army forts (like the Red Sands forts pictured above) were designed as anti-aircraft batteries and three were also located in the Thames estuary; the other three were in the Mersey estuary. The forts were responsible for shooting down 22 aircraft and 30 "flying bombs" (basically, an early version of the cruise missile and kind of fascinating). Though the forts were decommissioned in the 1950s, many of them still stand today.

Photo Credits for 3-6 to Wayne Barry under the linked license.

Some of the abandoned places I would most like to see are the abandoned Star Wars "on location" movie sets in Tunisia. Your probably wondering, now, why I'm mentioning this under "M" and not "S," but there's a simple explanation. Most of what you can actually go visit these days are the sets that were used as Mos Espa in The Phantom Menace. Some of these are actual ruins themselves:

This is Ksar (meaning castle) Hadada which was used for exterior shots of the slave quarters outside Mos Espa.

Here are some other abandoned sets from Mos Espa:

Mos Espa photo credits to John Roberts and used under the linked license.

And it's time for some magic cookies!

"The Magic Cookies" is a fun little, short story that always has people laughing when I've read out loud. Sure, the middle schoolers laugh unabashedly, but any adults have also always laughed in spite of trying not to. Just take my word for it; you want to read this. Besides, there's a grain of truth to this one. Okay, maybe more than a grain. Hey, it's not even a $1.00.
Plus! You get a bonus vampire story from Briane Pagel! How can you lose?
Also, the cover was designed and made by one of my creative writing students. He's in 8th grade. Didn't he do a great job!

Unexpected Applause: Temporary Anne

One of the things I like about the writing of Briane Pagel is that you can kind of see the questions that must be going through his head that inspire the stories he writes. So, like, with the After, you can see the questions about Heaven and the nature of Heaven that inspired the novel. And, so, Temporary Anne

seems to me to be a logical extension of his exploration of Heaven into an exploration of Hell. And what an unsettling exploration it is.

And, actually, in this instance, I'm glad I can't see what's in Briane's head to give him ideas for all of the horrible monsters he creates for this book. And they are. Horrible, that is. And fairly disgusting. But, you know, when designing minions from Hell, they ought to be.

However, as repulsive as his creatures are, they do not approach the level of repulsiveness that his main character attains. I don't think I've seen a truer example out there of the anti-hero. On the one hand, she's trying to escape Hell, and, well, it's Hell, so you are kind of wanting her to do that. But... well, the "but" is full of spoilers, but there comes a point when the idea of her escaping for any longer is not something you want to see happen.

And, as bad as she is, she is not the worst character in the book.

From a train wreck perspective, reading this book is like watching one. And it's fascinating. If you like horror, this is definitely a book worth reading.

However, there are editing issues. Some of them, most people won't notice. Like the punctuation stuff. But the verb tense mistakes might catch some people, although I'm not convinced that most people will notice.

Overall, I'd give the book a B. Maybe a B- because of the editing issues. Definitely worth $0.99, though.

BUT there's more!

Included at the end of the book is a series of short stories by various writers including one by yours truly. So here's the thing there: I was going to release "The Magic Cookies" as an individual story for $0.99, so, of course, I think the $0.99 price for Temporary Anne is more than worth it. And, hey, "The Magic Cookies" is a funny story, and you should all read it.

I'd review the other stories included except that I haven't quite gotten that far. I finished Anne because that was my priority, but that's it. However, Rusty has a story in there that is, at least, part of one that I've read. I'm not sure if it's the whole thing (because it looks too short from what's in the table of contents), but, however much of that story that's in there (all or part), it's also well worth the read. What all of this says to me is that for less than a buck, this book is a steal.

[Note: Once I finish the short stories, I will post an update with short reviews of those. Except "The Magic Cookies." I can already tell you that that one is GREAT and you should run right out and read it. Oh, wait, you don't need to run anywhere. Even better!]

Temporary Anne and "The Gate"

Briane Pagel is here today pimping his new book Temporary Anne.

I'll have a review of it later in the week (possibly tomorrow?). As I'm writing this, I haven't, yet, finished reading the book, but I fully expect to have finished it by the time this posts. So far, I have nothing but good things that I could say about it, but I have to leave open the possibility that the author could spoil it at the end since I've read more than one book that went along swimmingly (ask Anne) right up until the end, when the book suddenly drowned. Of course, in Anne's case, the swimming happened first, but I'm getting ahead of the story, I think.

Before I hand things over to Briane, I should add that Briane has taken my idea of including stories from other authors and run off with it. In fact, he ran off with one of my stories, a story that I had planned to release all on its own for the same price as Briane's book, so, hey, it's like two stories for the price of one. AND I'm not the only one with a short at the back of Anne. You can also find stories by PT Dilloway, Rusty Carl and Nigel Mitchell. So, actually, that's FIVE stories for the price of ONE! What a deal. So go pick up Temporary Anne for the low, low price of absolutely nothing (because today it is FREE!) and read "The Magic Cookies." I guarantee you that it's not the kind of story you've come to expect from me.

All of that said, here's Briane!

WELCOME!

This is DAY TWO of the release tour for my newest book, Temporary Anne.

Temporary Anne is a horror story about a woman so desperate to avoid Hell -- the fate for the evil she's done during her life -- that she makes things infinitely worse after her death.

To celebrate the release, I'm doing a blog tour in which I'm writing a short story, LIVE, with your help!  At each stop, I'll do an installment of the story and you can suggest where it goes next!

Below is PART TWO of the story.  PART ONE appeared on Tina Downey's Life Is Good, and if you didn't catch it, click here to read that first before going on, maybe, so the story makes more sense to you!

But it was no good, as before I could speak, Stephen King -- the man himself! The legendary author! The guy who once had threatened to punch my lights out in an alleyway, or so I told people back home! -- suddenly shot up out of his seat.

You would be forgiven if you thought I, as a writer, was merely using descriptive language to demonstrate how Stephen King stood up suddenly, perhaps to storm onto stage and announce that he would let me finish but really Dean Koontz should've won this award, but I assure you, I am in no way exaggerating.

As I said "I", Stephen King rose several feet above his seat, lifted in the air and his legs flailing and arms grappling towards his throat but not reaching it, Stephen King levitating above the assembled, dignified-but-suddenly-shocked crowd, a crowd which had figured on simply sitting through boring speeches before cocktails but which now suddenly was treated to a spectacle!

They seemed to enjoy it, for the few seconds that Stephen King was merely writhing above their heads apparently pantomiming being strangled by a being much larger (and meaner! and more claw-ish and fang-having than they were, although they did not know that!) than he, but their enjoyment quickly faded when first Stephen King's left, and then Stephen King's right, eyeball was pulled from his head as if by a vacuum cleaner.

Can you imagine? I, and the Vice President of the United States, and the assembled dignitaries, need not imagine what it looks like, but you may not have read all of the news accounts, many of which were not so graphic, so I'll describe it:

Stephen King's eye -- the left one, first, remember-- begins to bulge out.  As though he were a cartoon wolf, looking at a sexy cartoon sheep! It bulges, rounder and rounder and then, if you were looking closely at it, you'd see the lens about to tear off but the optic nerve must break first, and the eyeball -- still whole! Still whole! -- POPS! from the socket, the squishy rip of the nerve pulling off being overshadowed by the sucking sound the orb makes as it disappears into the invisible maw of the beast only I can see.

I can see all of them.

I saw the beast as it walked through the aisle, not betraying its presence by touching anything until it reached the third row.  I saw its slimy tentacles stretch above Stephen King, nearly brushing the Vice President's ear, and I saw it lift him up.

"Um..." I said, and covered my surprise with a sip of water from the glass on the podium, putting the glass down as pandemonium broke loose upon Stephen King's unfortunate (for him!) demise.

After the eyes, the head appears to collapse inwards on itself-- only I know that it is one of the three arms of the Beast that has used its claws to puncture the ears on each side before crushing the skull.  Only I can see the tentacle then fling Stephen King's lifeless, nearly-headless body, at the now-screaming seats of dignitaries, dignified no longer as they scramble for exits, avoiding the security guards who have rushed in to -- too late!-- to protect Mr. King.

Only I need not fear this Beast, as it turns upon the security guards.

One! 

Two!

ThreeFourFiveSixSeven!

Tentacles grasp and pull, guards' guns stop firing, guards hearts burst from the squeezing pressure.

One!

Two!

ThreeFourFiveSixSeven!

From its seven mouths come seven tongues, tongues that are lined with needles, like a cactus, but only if that cactus had been grown in Lucifer's own garden plot, and even then only by a particularly malicious gardener!

Three arms waving, five legs stomping, seven tentacles grabbing, too-many-heads-having, the Beast dispatches the guards.  Only a few of the audience have been crushed by it, although some probably will die from having been lit on fire by its breath.

In the melee, I close my eyes, but even then, I can still see the Beast.

It is looking at me. 

"YOU!" a voice says.

It is not the voice of the Beast.

______________________________________________________

YOU get to help Andrew pick what happens next!  I'll leave it wide open and see what you, and Andrew, come up with.

Remember: click this link to GET TEMPORARY ANNE FREE!  I promise nobody will suck out your eyeballs*!

*Promise not valid in the 6th, 14th, and 17th dimensions.

--Briane Pagel

"That's a lot of infinity!":  http://www.nonsportsmanlikeconduct.com

"I sometimes call him Pumpkin Pie.": http://www.thinkingthelions.com

"In my defense, I didn't know what whores were" : http://www.troublewithroy.com

This has been a production of the Vince Lombardi fanfic group:  http://www.nonsportsman.com

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

 So you heard the man. Leave suggestions in the comment section about where the story goes from here. I'll pick what I like best and pass it on to Briane. Part 3 of his story on the run will appear on Laws of Gravity on September 18. Make sure you check it out!

To continue on with the FREE! stuff, today is also the release of "Part Thirty-two: The Gate"! Oh, we're so close to the end, now; can't you taste it? Okay, please don't do that. Seriously, get your tongue off of your monitor. Do you know how dirty that thing is? Yeah, I see that those dried coffee spots where you sloshed your coffee two weeks ago and didn't bother to clean it off. And that other thing... oh, man, I don't even know what that is! Don't you ever clean your monitor? It's not a science experiment!

Anyway...

Here is the list of today's FREE! Shadow Spinner offerings:

"Part Thirty-two: The Gate" (also FREE! tomorrow, Tuesday, September 17)

"Part Thirty-one: The Serpent Strikes"

"Part Thirty: Called in Judgement"

"Part Twenty-nine: Loss"

"Part Twenty-three: The Harlot"

"Part Twenty-two: The Undying"

"Part Twenty-one: The Chase"

"Part Seventeen: The Tree of Light"

"Part Sixteen: The Dark Tree"

"Part Fifteen: Food of the Garden"

"Part Ten: The Broken Window"

"Part Nine: The Shadow of the Tree"

There you go, twelve FREE! parts, today. And don't forget to grab Anne while you can!