Friday, May 1, 2015

It's Not That I'm an Introvert...

...I Just Don't Like You.

To be fair, I don't like most people. In that, I mean that I don't like the mass of people who are out there just, you know, floating around.
Could someone please turn the gravity back on?
Oh, wait, I mean lying around.

You might ask, "But what's wrong with people?"
To which I would say, "People are dumb."
Wait, don't say "dumb." They'll think you mean people can't talk, and we both know that's not true.
Okay, I would say, "People are stupid."
That's better.

So, sure, I realize that saying "people are stupid" is unfair.
No one said life is fair.
The truth is that people are just average.
But the average person doesn't do much for humanity. The fact that reality TV exists proves it.
Sure. I'm not arguing that with you.
Fine. I'm not arguing that with you, either.
Anyway, people are average. Almost all of them, which is what makes average..., well..., average. Which is fine, because average people are fine with each other.
I think they even like each other.
We don't know that. They could all just be faking it.
Okay, true.
At any rate, average people are out there all the time milling about in places like...
Like Wal-Mart!
And malls. And, probably, Starbucks.
Yeah, those places!
You do know that you go to those places sometimes, right?
Sure, but never by choice.
Like that makes it okay.
Hey, I'm just sayin'.
You keep saying it, see what happens.
That's what I thought.

So let me make one thing clear...
Just one thing?
Yes, just one thing! At least, at the moment. Is that okay with you?
Fine. You do whatever you want.
So, look, I am not shy. "Shy" is not an introvert thing as people like to believe. Shyness is actually pretty evenly spread throughout introverts and extroverts.
But with an introvert, it's like a... Can I call it a geometric progression?
You can call it whatever you want.
Then that's what I'll call it.
Great. Now shut up. I'm trying to explain something.
So... Let me make this really simple.
For the sake of time, right? Not because you think people are stupid or anything. Right?
Yes! Because someone keeps interrupting and is making this go on and on and on!
Okay! sheesh!

Extroverts like to be with people. They like big groups, big parties, and being social.
Introverts like small groups or just being alone. They are not particularly social even with their friends, which is important, because it has to do with not being shy.
See, shy people don't like or want to go up to people they don't know, for instance, and that applies pretty evenly across both groups.

All of that to say that just because I'm an introvert, don't think I'm shy.
If I'm off sitting in a corner reading or scribbling in a notebook, it's not because I'm timid or scared or, even, because I'm an introvert.
It's because you're weird, you weirdo.
Sure, that's what people think...
Are you saying you're not weird?
No, I'm saying that sitting in a corner doesn't make me weird.
No one else is doing it.
Ohmygosh! I'm weird, okay? Does that make you feel better?
A little, yes.
Look, when I'm off sitting somewhere by myself doing something isolating, it's not just because I'm an introvert. Sure, I like doing those by-myself things, but the reason I'm not coming over to talk to you, if I don't know you, doesn't have to do with being an introvert. It's because you're just people, and I don't happen to like you very much.
That's kind of rude, you know.
I'm trying to be honest. Okay?
Well, you're honestly rude.
I never said I wasn't rude.
Well, that's good, because that would have been a lie.
Can I just please finish?
Oh, yeah, just go on with your rudeness. Should I have them turn the gravity off again, too?
What I'm trying to say is this:
I don't like "people," the mass of people out there... Great. The mass of people out there who are now floating around again.
You said...
I did not!
Fine! I'll have them turn it back on again. sheesh!

Look, yes, I don't like people, but I do like individuals. So, no, I'm not going to quit scribbling in my notebook and come over and talk to you. I'm an introvert, and I don't feel the need to socialize with you, but, more importantly, if I don't know you, you're just a people. Unfortunately, if you don't want to be "just a people," you will have to come over and talk to me. And that's okay. I'm not going to bite you or, even, growl.

On the other hand, when I'm just sitting there doing my thing, you shouldn't be offended; it's not you. Not specifically you, anyway. And, if you don't want to come talk to me, that's fine. Because, really, I'm good with my book and my notebook.

Hey, soylent green is people.


  1. Now I am shy, those who know me don't think I am, but I am always reluctant, in a room full of people, to go and introduce myself. I like the idea of people floating around. Do turn gravity off again. I would like to float too.

    Well into Ghost Story by the way. I am still not sure if I have read it before, some of it sounds familiar but maybe because I know I read a later book.

    1. Jo: I don't think there's anything wrong with being shy; it's just not the same as being an introvert. My daughter is our family extrovert, but she is also the shy one.

      I need to get Cold Days, but I'm trying to finish some other things before I go back to Dresden.

  2. You do realize you're talking to yourself, right?

    And I'm not really shy either. I just can't be around lots of people for more than an hour or so, as I fail at small-talk most of the time.

    1. L.G.: What? No! I don't talk to myself. Only crazy people and writers...
      Oh, wait...

  3. I'm both shy and an introvert, but I know how often people wrongly conflate the two. You can't tell anyone that you're too tired to go out without them asking you what's really wrong with you.

    1. Jeanne: No, you can't, and it's worse when you're female. I bet people (guys) are also always telling you to smile, right?

  4. My natural state is somewhat shy and kind of introverted, but there are times when I don't want to be and I'm not. Most of the time I do stay home and avoid going to anyplace I don't have to.

    People are annoying a lot of the time. Especially the people I see on the news reports. I have never understood the need for mass amounts of people to gather and protest and march and stupid stuff like that. I never even did that when I was a hippie during the Viet Nam era. Sometimes I did go to where the protests were just to hang on the periphery and watch. They could be annoying, but they could be entertaining too.

    But I'd rather stay home myself. Or maybe drive on the open highway. Or hike in a peaceful scenic place.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out

  5. Lee: I do believe that protests can be useful. Unfortunately, the more people you gather together, the lower the combined intelligence. It makes it difficult for protests to have the intended impact. You need a very powerful leader for that.

  6. This was very entertaining -- a bit outside of your usual stuff. I like your inner voice. You ought to let him out more.

    I agree with you about the shyness AND introvert thing, and never thought about it before. I get into debates with Sweetie about whether I am shy, which she finds ridiculous no matter how much I try to say it, but I think I'm actually more of an introvert than shy, after reading this. I'm an introvert whose job forces him to be gregarious and an extrovert, which can be exhausting.

    And I'm back from my business trip/trial.

    1. Briane: My usual stuff, lately, has been... less than happy and shiny, so I figured I needed to loosen it up some.
      But I'm not sure you want the inner voice to come out more. He's actually kind of mean.

      And, yes, you have a job which calls for extroversion, but, then, most jobs, these days, are heavily slanted toward extroversion.

  7. I am both shy and an introvert. Well, so it seems. See, I do occasionally like to be around people, which is the extrovert half of me. I get energy when I'm with them, which is one of the definitions of extroversion. But then about partway through that energy turns around and shoots out, and I am left drained, exhausted. That's the point at which I must remove myself and sit in a dark corner all alone to rejuvenate. Definitions always say it goes one way or the other, but I hit points in both. Most of the time I like my seclusion, though, and need a certain amount of time to myself to function. Otherwise, I get agitated and irritable.

    1. Shannon: You actually sound like an introvert, especially with the sudden draining. Introverts can enjoy being around people, but they tend to hit a limit of, let's call it, stored energy, at which point they just want to go and be alone. Extroverts are the ones who, when the event is over, are trying to drag the party to some other location with more, new people.

      That said, there are ambiverts (who lie in the middle of the spectrum), but I think the best way of looking at anything to do with personality is to look at your core self.

  8. I'd fall into the introvert category and I hate reality shows....

    1. Sandra: Other than seeing one or two episodes of that MTV thing back when it very first came on, I don't think I've seen a single reality TV show. Ever.