Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Campaign Challenge: The Man With No Eyes

I've had a secret project going on for a while. Part of the reason it's so secret is that I'm not really very far along on it. Work on The House on the Corner (buy it now! >grin<) and its sequel, Brother's Keeper, have kept me pretty busy over the last many months. But I do have this other story happening in little bits and pieces. Actually, I'm going to start showcasing some of it, soon, so I thought this first challenge in the campaign would be a good place to introduce Tib. Or Tiberious. But he prefers Tib, because Tiberious is what his mother always calls him when he's in trouble.

It's going to be his birthday soon, and bad things are starting to happen. I hope you enjoy this little introduction. Oh, and, yes, it comes in at exactly 200 words.

The Man With No Eyes

The door swung open as Tib approached. For just a moment the thought flitted through his head that, maybe, all the bad stuff was a lie and his mother was there waiting for him. But, no, he knew it had done it of its own accord. No, not its own. The shadows.

They were in there, waiting for him. He could see them stretching through the house and up the stairs. Moving without moving. The bright sunshine outside only served to make the shadows more distinct. More real. He could hear them in his skin as he moved across the porch. Hear them calling to him. Whispering to him. He shivered and stepped into the house. His house. The house that his mother should be in. Except that she wasn't. He just hoped it wasn't the man with no eyes that had taken her. Maybe she'd gotten away.

But, no... if she was safe, the shadows wouldn't be here. In her house. He stood in the middle of the patch of light stabbing into the living room from the open door. From the back corner of the room, a figure emerged. A man with no eyes. The door swung shut.


  1. Okay, I shouldn't have this at 11.30 pm when everyone else is asleep, so I guess it had the desired effect :-)

    I look forward to reading more of this as it progresses.

  2. Wow awesome. I love it. Its very creepy and I love creepy.

  3. Yikes, I got that skin-crawling feeling when you described the shadows. Creepy goodness!

  4. Tense. Scary. 200 words. No easy task. Great job. I've tried those flash fiction pieces before and they've been disastrous.

  5. Nicely done!!! so creepy, the man with no eyes!

  6. Love and adore the darkness in your writing, Andrew. I so wish I could capture this in my own. This almost reminded me of the concept behind the Evanescence song, "Haunted."

    Can't wait to read more. :)

  7. This sounds really promising. I'm looking forward to hearing mroe about the new book idea!

  8. Sarah P: LOL Sorry about that. Maybe I should put up a warning, next time?

    Jennifer: I'm glad you liked it! I think this one's going to be creepy all the way through.

    julie: I'm hoping so!

    Rusty: Yeah, well, actually, I'm not really a fan of flash fiction myself. Outside of the classroom, I sort of think, "What's the point?" However, when I have a larger story in mind, these short pieces can be good just to help set the tone of the work.

    Cristina: Thanks! yeah, tha man with no eyes creeps me out, too. Wait till you find out why he has no eyes.

    Kurt: You know, I'm not quite sure what you mean by that, but thanks. I think.

    Alyssia: It's funny you should say that, because I don't really think of myself as dark writer, but, I guess, maybe I am. The House on the Corner certainly has its share, and this piece about Tiberius is going to be really dark. I guess I'm going to need to balance that with some side work in humor. If I can find the time.

    I'll have to go listen to that song. They have a few songs I like, but I'm not familiar with that one.

    Juliana: Hopefully, I'll have the prelude available by the end of the month. I need to finish writing it, and I need whip Rusty into getting the cover together for me. :P

  9. Whoa! That was SERIOUSLY creepy! Well done :)

  10. Wow! The way you described the shadows was scary. Both in your style and I've written about shadows in a similar way. Great minds must think alike!

    Great job, Andrew! Following. :)

  11. Spoooky. Love your use of choppy sentences to create tension.

  12. Oh, that was deliciously creepy. I especially liked this line, "He could hear them in his skin as he moved across the porch. "

  13. I'm always leery of men with no eyes. Call me ableist, but eye just can't help myself.

  14. Why did it have to be the man with no eyes! Great little piece.

  15. Sam: Thanks! :)

    David: Glad you like it! I'll be stopping by your blog.

    Michael: I hope so, thanks!

    Melodie: It's interesting how sentence structure can be manipulated.

    Jocelyn: I'm glad you liked that line. I like it, too.

    Beer: Hey, well, at least they can't stare at you, huh?

    Michele: Oh, wait till you find out why!

  16. Hi Andrew! You made me laugh with your intro to Tib! And what a fascinating, yank-me-in-and-never-let-me-go story! It's so great how you described the shadows- like this sentence, "Moving without moving." Love it! You have a great writing style.

    I'm a fellow campaigner. I'm not in your groups, but I wanted the fun of getting to know more writers. It's so great to meet you! And boy was it awesome to learn about your extreme craftiness. And your discourse on Significance was so funny and wise!

  17. Brenda: Laughter? That's one I didn't expect. I hope it was good laughter!
    And thanks :) I do try.

    Dropped by your blog, too...

  18. Creepy is definitely the right word to describe this. I'm worried about the poor mother and Tib too. I can see this going on to something bigger for sure.

  19. Andrew,

    Congrats! I'm a judge for the first round of the challenge, and I wanted to let you know that you are moving onto stage two! There will be a semi-final (stage three) and a final (stage four).

    Again, congrats! And thank you for participating in the challenge.


  20. L.G: Yes, it's going somewhere. However, if you want to see how it starts, I just added a tab with the first Tib story.

    Heidi: Thanks for letting me know! Yea!

  21. Congratulations on moving forward through the judging rounds! That's awesome. Nice piece. I'm guessing Tib figures out a way to deal with the man with no eyes. For the sake of a decent night's sleep, I wish I knew how!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting on The Rune (#159).

  22. Daniel: Well, you know, I'm not, yet, sure what's going to happen with the man with no eyes, but you can see how Tib gets started in my new tab up top.

    And, thanks!

  23. Yikes! Wonderfully creepy. I hope Tib finds his way out of this and gets his mother back. Freaky shadow people!

  24. Well, just keep an eye on the Tiberius tab to catch the updates.