Rebels: "Shroud of Darkness" (Ep. 2.18)

-- "Don't worry; I wouldn't do anything you would do."

A note before I start watching this episode:

I always pull the image for whatever episode I'm about to watch before I watch the episode. It's a bit of a teaser for the episode in question, but, usually, the images are fairly innocuous. You know, Ezra or Kanan standing with a lightsaber or something. Oh, but not this episode! This episode gave me the above image, which is hella cool! AND this episode has Vader and Ahsoka! So, yeah, I'm stoked for this one, so I'm going to go watch it now.

And, no, I don't know who those guys are in the image above, but I certainly want to find out!

After watching:
The guys in the picture? Jedi Temple Guards. So cool...
Evidently, the Grand Inquisitor was a fallen Jedi. And, possibly, a Temple Guard. That's probably a bit of a spoiler but not so much of one that I feel bad about saying it.

This is a big episode. Ahsoka, Vader, Yoda (yes, Yoda!), and, even, Anakin. Yes, Anakin is Vader so, of course, Anakin, but it also has Anakin before he was Vader. Let me explain:
Ezra walks in on Ahsoka watching old training holograms that Anakin had made. We find out that Ezra uses them for his training, and Ahsoka tells Ezra about Anakin as she knew him, not as the most fierce warrior of the Clone Wars. It's a very touching moment.

I really loved this episode.

BUT!

I am reminded again how different this series is from Clone Wars. The very best episodes or story arcs in Clone Wars were the ones that dealt with questions, usually moral questions, but Rebels really doesn't have that. There is little to no moral ambiguity in this series. It's all about putting together a resistance movement against the Empire. It's, generally speaking, an action/adventure show. Also, there are no story arcs. Each episode is self contained. And, while I am enjoying Rebels, I miss the deeper questions that Clone Wars asked and seldom answered. The only real question we have in Rebels is whether Ezra will turn to the Dark Side or not, a question, actually, that this episode touches on.

Anyway, it leaves me feeling like my reviews for this series are nothing more than plot synopses, and I hate doing plot synopses. Anyone can do a plot synopsis.

Rebels: "A Princess on Lothal" (Ep. 2.12)

-- In our position, you take what you can get, Kid.

Fuuuuuccck! When the Empire deploys AT-ATs, they just drop them! They DROP them! That explains the legs on them, I suppose.

My son couldn't buy it, though. Me, I was willing to give them that one. It was when Kanan -- see picture above, which is really cool -- went running at the AT-AT with a lightsaber THEN cut right through its legs (yes, two of them!) as if they were butter that they lost me. I mean, they had just dropped the AT-AT from a spaceship and the legs had supported the drop! But Kanan can just slice through them as he runs by? I don't think so. Go back to Phantom Menace and how long it took Qui-Gon to cut through one of those doors on the Trade Federation ship. Oh, wait! He wasn't able to do it in time. AT-AT legs have to be at least that tough.

Anyway...

This episode features a certain princess, and it's a pretty decent episode. You know, except for the bit mentioned above and that Leia seems to be unable to connect with people. Hmm... Actually, I suppose that's just Leia, so it makes sense when Kanan tells her that she should talk to Ezra because she understands what it's like to be young and have a lot of responsibility that she kind of just fails at that.

This is Leia before she's a senator. At least, that's what I'm assuming because her father is the senator from Alderaan. It's interesting to see her from this perspective, but it's more interesting to see the Empire's view of Alderaan. It gives a little insight on why Tarkin becomes so willing to blow it up.

"Wait, why does she get to give orders? I don't get to give orders."

Clone Wars -- "In Search of the Crystal" (Ep. ?.2)

-- The journey is often more important than the destination.

[No notes this time. Go back and look at last week's episode if you need to know what's going on.]

Remember when Ahsoka quit the Jedi Order? Remember how it didn't really come up again after that happened? Well, that was more because the season six stories went off in other directions, directions that didn't focus on Anakin, than because it was forgotten. But now we're back to Obi-Wan and Anakin, and they're dealing with the fallout of Ahsoka's decision to leave.

Well, you know, as much as they can in a 22-minute episode.

This episode sustains the great banter between Obi-Wan and Anakin that the previous episode had. It literally had me LOLing, as my son would say.

We find out what Tu-Ahn was investigating on Utapau, and it's not good. Well, not good for the Republic. I would say more, but I don't want to. I mean, I do want to, but I also don't want to, and the "don't" is winning. I will say this: I'm pretty sure the events in this arc are a pre-cursor to some of the events in Rogue One, which raises some interesting questions since, supposedly, the continuation of the movie franchise hadn't yet been confirmed when Disney bought Lucasfilm and, certainly, not any non-trilogy films. Though, again, this is all part of the run-up to Revenge of the Sith, and maybe that's all it is. Maybe.

Also, we finally get to see what happens when "someone" is looking into the tube of a lightsaber when he turns it on. Sort of.

Also, also, never trust a Sith -- oh, wait, NEVER trust a Sith! -- when your bargaining and he says he will "give you what you deserve."

"...as usual, you went rushing in." (and got our mounts killed)

"Ahh... So you're the only one who can think on his feet."

"Apparently."

"We're always in a ventilation duct, every ship we go in!"

Clone Wars -- "Destiny" (Ep. 6.12)

-- Death is just the beginning.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

[Well, actually, considering that we're into season six, now, probably no one new is going to sign up, BUT! Hop over to The Armchair Squid for his take on the current episode.]

I have a question:
Why is Yoda's starfighter so much smaller than everyone else's? The lightsaber thing doesn't bother me, because lightsaber's need to fit the hand of the wielder, but the starfighter thing...? I mean, if starfighters can be smaller, they should be smaller. It makes them harder to hit. I guess the better question, then, is, "If they can make starfighters the size of Yoda's, why do the other Jedi have such large starfighters?" That seems to me to be a design flaw.

And, yes, that has nothing to do with the episode other than that Yoda's starfighter is in the episode, but it's a question that has bothered me for a while. Because the real reason is aesthetics, but I can't get behind that from a practical standpoint.

Anyway...

Yoda continues his journey, the quest he's been sent on by Qui-Gon Jinn. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you need to go back and watch the previous episode.

Significant things about this episode:
Yoda fights... well, let's just say it's a scene very reminiscent of that one with Gollum from LotR.
Yoda discovers some things about himself. (This is the good part.)
The priestesses are very Spirited Away.

The failing of this episode is that it's too short. Way too short. I think they could easily turn this one into an hour show and make it awesome and surreal.


"Disappoint us not, little green one."

Clone Wars -- "A Test of Strength" (Ep. 5.6)

-- The young are often underestimated.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]
[Well, actually, considering that we're into season five, now, probably no one new is going to sign up, BUT! Hop over to The Armchair Squid for his take on the current episode.]

It's important to remember that Hondo is a pirate. Of course, he's a pirate in the same vein as Han Solo and Lando Calrissian: a charming rogue. It makes it easy to be taken in by him, characters and viewers alike. But, then, he does something every so often to remind us he really is just a pirate. It doesn't matter how "presidential" he sounds during his not-the-state-of-the-union address, he's still gonna cut your throat for profit if he thinks he's going to make some from doing it. There is no, and there never was, doing the right thing. He just fools you into thinking that when he's making money by being nice to you. But it all comes down to, "We all know how much I like to be rich, don't we?"

In the end, it makes Hondo no better, and possibly worse, than Anakin during and after his fall.

And this is how bad it is:
During the conflict when Hondo is obviously and blatantly trying to kill Ahsoka and those under her charge, Ahsoka says to him, "I don't want to hurt you." And she doesn't. Do you know why? She likes Hondo, just like we do, because why? Because he's a charming rogue, and you can't help yourself. Even while he's trying to slit your throat. Hondo's response? "I know." That's not a direct quote, but it's the spirit of it, and it gives Hondo the edge.

Oh, yeah, Honda is in this episode.

And David Tennant, my second favorite Doctor. Oh, no, not him, just his voice, but that's good, too.

Yes, we're still in the same arc started last episode. Let's just say it doesn't end well. You should probably just watch it.


"The lightsaber is a Jedi's only true ally."

Clone Wars -- "The Gathering" (Ep. 5.5)

-- He who faces himself, finds himself.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]
[Well, actually, considering that we're into season five, now, probably no one new is going to sign up, BUT! Hop over to The Armchair Squid for his take on the current episode.]

Okay, on a complete aside, why does it seem that "everything" has to have an episode (or some equivalency) called "The Gathering"?

There's a decided shift in season five away from Anakin and Obi-Wan to Ahsoka as we begin our second arc of the season focused on Ahsoka and her development apart from Anakin. Which is not to say that there won't be Anakin and Obi-Wan, just that Ahsoka is getting some extra attention as the series nears its ending. But, you know, more on that later.

This episode is both kind of cool/interesting and kind of annoying. On the one hand, it's about how younglings acquire their Kaiburr crystals so that they can construct their first lightsabers and move on to becoming padawans. On the other hand, it has a bit of that video game quality to it where you have to pass a series of challenges to achieve the goal. It's not as overt as it could have been, though, which is why it's only "kind of" annoying.

Really, the episode is centered around the younglings and their individual challenges they have to pass in order to obtain their crystals, but Ahsoka is the one in charge of them, though Yoda is there, too.

It's a decent enough episode even if it's not as meaty as the last arc.

Also, I have to say, the wookie youngling is probably my favorite. I do like the Ithorian, too, though.

Clone Wars -- "Carnage of Krell" (Ep. 4.10)

-- Our actions define our legacy.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

We've come to the end of the Krell arc but not the end of the story as it pertains to Krell...

And I don't really know what to say about it that won't give all of this one away.
Fives continues to be one of my favorite clones.
I also like Rex a lot.
Krell is still an asshole...?

Wait, wait, I've got it!
(Yes, Krell is still an asshole.)

How many clones does it take to get to the center of a Jedi? A one, a two, a...
Oh, no, wait, that doesn't really work, does it? Tootsie pops don't generally fight back. Or wield double-bladed lightsabers.

Did I give too much away? I hope not.
This is a really solid story arc that highlights some of the differences in the individual clones. The plight of Dogma, one of the recurring clones in the series (his name should tell you everything you need to know about him), is both sad and hopeful. And a metaphor. A metaphor which is politically appropriate if you painted Krell a slight orange color and put a wispy wig on his head. Dogma's world is destroyed when his eyes are opened and he sees the truth.

I might, now, be giving too much away.

Okay, look, I'm going to quit talking about the episode. You should just go watch the arc, mostly so that you can see this episode. There will be repercussions (I just can't remember when those happen or what they are (which is good! because I'm looking forward to it, now)).
So, now, instead of listening to me, watch this, then go watch the Krell arc.

Clone Wars -- "Darkness on Umbara" (Ep. 4.7)

-- The first step towards loyalty is trust.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

Finally! The show gets interesting again!
And I don't really know where I want to begin. Mostly, that's because I remember some of this arc, and I need to write this up without providing any spoilers.

Let's start with the planet.
Umbara is a planet shrouded in darkness. In fact, it is called the Shadow World and the Umbarans are known as the Shadow People. During an assault against one of the cities, the clones discover the planet itself (the fauna and flora) is as deadly as its inhabitants.
[This episode actually fits in perfectly with this month's theme of "creepy days" here on the blog. It is most definitely a creepy planet, shrouded in mists, and full of strange lights and glowing creatures.]

The major development of the episode, though, is the introduction General Pong Krell, a Jedi with a rather fearsome reputation. He relieves Anakin of command of his unit (against Anakin's wishes) because Anakin has been called back to Coruscant. It's almost immediately clear that Krell is an asshole. Um, I mean, a hardass. Despite the protest of Captain Rex, Krell discards Anakin's strategies for one that is, at best, highly reckless. It is also quite clear that Krell has no regard for the clones and refers to them each by their numbers rather than their chosen names. They are not men to Krell.

Krell is a very imposing figure, the same race as the diner owner from Attack of the Clones. With his four arms, he wields not one but two, two!, double-bladed lightsabers. And he doesn't hesitate about threatening his own troops with them. Because that's okay when you don't view your troops as quite sentient.

Now you see the setup...

Rebels: "Idiot's Array" (Ep. 1.10)

"Smuggler's such a small word. I'm more of a galactic entrepreneur."

I don't tend to think of Star Wars in comedic terms. Sure, there are funny moments, and characters who have been inserted specifically for comic relief -- not just Jar Jar -- but this is the first episode of any of Rebels or all of The Clone Wars that really had me laughing out loud. Not just once.

We get to meet a young Lando Calrissian (actually voiced by Billy Dee Williams!) and to say that hi-jinks ensue would be an understatement. We get to see sabacc being played for the first time. At least, it's the first time I know of that the game has been shown onscreen anywhere. "Idiot's Array" refers to a sabacc hand. Of course, playing cards with Calrissian can get anyone into trouble, and that's what happens here. The rest of the episode is trying to get out of said trouble.

Lando, as you might expect, spends the episode trying to sweet talk the ladies. The guys, as might also be expected, react poorly to this. I think each of them says something to the effect of "I hate that guy" at least once. And, of course, Lando puts them in a situation where they're forced to defend him and rescue him from, well, himself.

Oh, yeah, and to get Chopper back, which is what started everything off, Zeb losing Chopper to Lando in a game of cards. The big question is whether Chopper wants to stay with Lando or not.

That's all I'm gonna say. Oh, except that we find out a cool thing about Ezra's lightsaber.

"Mine doesn't do that."

Apocalypse: An Exercise in Bloat (a movie review post)

With each new X-Men Universe offering from Fox, I find myself more and more longing for the day when Marvel will refuse to renew the license to Fox and re-make the X-Men in the same style as they've done with the Marvel Universe movies from their own production company (the only recent exception being Deadpool). It seems that big studios cannot wrap their collective heads around the concept of building up the world, first, before deluging it with characters and blowing it up (yes, I'm looking at you, too, Warner Brothers). I mean, seriously, it doesn't have to be world-threatening every time.

This one, in particular, got off to a bad start with me. We open some 5000 years ago in Egypt during a ceremony in which En Sabah Nur, later to be known as Apocalypse, is transferring his consciousness into a new host so that he can take the man's mutant power. The ceremony is being held inside a great pyramid. A pyramid which has been built with a... Look, I'm having trouble even saying this, but it's been built with a self destruct mechanism. One of the great pyramids in Egypt with a, yes, self-destruct device. Seriously.

Then, when it's activated, not only does the pyramid collapse in on itself... The solid stone pyramid collapses in on itself. What? Anyway... Once it had done that, it proceeds to collapse right on down into the ground, becoming completely submerged and blocking it from the sun.

There is none of that that makes any actual sense. Sure, you go right ahead and try to win yourself a No Prize by coming up with an explanation that works, but there is none of it that will actually make any rational sense, especially the part where the pyramid is swallowed by the earth.

We're less than 10 minutes into the movie at that point (okay, maybe 15), and I'm already struggling.

The next major issue with the movie is characters. There are too many and too many of them with no introduction. There's been demand since the X-Movies started for everyone's favorite character, whomever that may be, but Fox has gotten into the habit of just tossing them in without bothering to tell the audience who they are, basically relying on audience knowledge. This is fine under two conditions:
1. The character takes no part in the story, as with Jubilee in Apocalypse. Or any of the background students at Xavier's school.
2. The audience is only made up of fans of the comics who already know all of the background information they need to have.
It's alienating to non-comics fans when there are a bunch of characters running around without any information provided as to whom they are.

That's one of the things Marvel Studios has done exceedingly well, especially since many of their movies have dealt with little-known characters outside of the world of comics fans and conventions, is to introduce characters in a plausible and meaningful way. Even with Spider-Man, probably the character with the least information given about him within the context of a movie, in Captain America: Civil War, there was an appropriate amount of background given to give the character context for the movie.

Fox failed to do that with pretty much every character they brought into Apocalypse, including characters who have previously been in X-Men movies. The introductions of Nightcrawler and Angel were flimsy at best. Storm, given the fact that they've never really revealed any of her background prior, was hardly better. And Caliban and Psylocke were abysmal. And, I have to say, Psylocke psi-blade is not a lightsaber; it's a psychic knife that doesn't have any physical manifestation. (Unless they changed that sometime since I quit reading comics?)

The story is plenty bloated, too. The whole capture by Stryker is completely superfluous to the actual story and is only there so that they can work Wolverine into the movie in a completely gratuitous killfest. That was at least half an hour of the movie that could have been used to further the elements of the actual story. Or cut out completely.

The Magneto plot line is also -- I don't know what to call it -- unnecessary. It provides the only moment of the film with any real emotional content, but, considering where things are left at the end of Days of Future Past, it felt contrived. That would be because it was.

All of that said, it might sound like I didn't like the movie, which is not precisely true. I didn't like it, but I also didn't not like it. It wasn't horrible; it just wasn't all that good. Still, I'd watch it again before Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice any day of the week.

I'm not a fan of the whole re-booting thing, but the X-Men is a franchise that needs to be re-booted and, this time, it needs to start with a plan, lay a foundation, and grow from there. It's too big a universe to keep throwing pieces of it in without laying the groundwork for them.

Rebels: "Rise of the Old Masters" (Ep. 1.4)

"Does yours do that?"

The crew of The Ghost receives information that Luminara Unduli may have survived the Clone Wars as a prisoner of the Empire. Kanan and Hera decide that they must mount a rescue mission to get her out. Not knowing of any other surviving Jedi, Kanan feels a special urgency to rescue one of the last great Jedi Masters of the Jedi Council.

There's also the fact that he's begun teaching Ezra, and things... well, things aren't going all that well. He believes that Luminara will make a better teacher than he. Ezra, of course, thinks that Kanan wants to get rid of him and that that is, really, the only reason for rescuing Luminara. Zeb doesn't help the situation.

Luminara is being held in a fortress of a prison. Impenetrable. Except to a Jedi like Kanan. Or, maybe, if it's a trap. Yeah, one of those.

So we have the actual first appearance of the Inquisitor, and the whole show just stepped up a notch. The stakes are suddenly real, and it's become more than just a kids' show. At least, this episode is. I guess I can't actually judge that, yet, but I have hope that the series just became something more than the casual misadventures of a young not-Padawan.

Oh, and the Inquisitor's lightsaber is pretty darn cool, kind of a cross between Darth Maul's and General Grievous.

If things continue forward like this, I'm going to like this series.
But it's still not The Clone Wars.

Clone Wars -- "The Academy" (Ep. 3.6)

-- Those who enforce the law must obey the law.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

We remain on Mandalore as we pick up where the previous episode left off. Satine has requested that a Jedi be sent to their Academy to teach a class about the dangers of government corruption; they send Ahsoka. The Mandalorians require that she not be armed while on the planet, so she has to hand her lightsaber over to Anakin when he drops her off.

The logic around the whole setup for this episode is a little fuzzy to me, even considering that the request for a Jedi is a political feint. Even accounting for the true purpose, the false purpose doesn't quite make sense, and I can't accept that Anakin would leave Ahsoka without her lightsaber considering the ongoing importance placed on them: "Your lightsaber is your life." Of course, it's good to see every once in a while just how much a Jedi (even a Padawan) can do without a 'saber, but I couldn't buy into it.

It's not a horrible episode, but it's definitely not going to make any lists of my favorite episodes, even if it is on Mandalore and even if Satine is in it. The whole story was orchestrated to reveal who the high up corrupt official is, which would be fine except that it feels contrived. Not that all stories aren't contrived, but you don't want them to feel that way.

Clone Wars -- "The Zillo Beast" (Ep. 2.18)

-- Choose what is right, not what is easy.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

A good question to ask about the Clone Wars is why the Republic doesn't use EMP devices against the droids. The truth is that they do, sometimes, use those kinds of things. There are some kind of EMP grenades that are used in some episodes, but I have to assume that, in general, the droids have some kind of shielding against EM pulses. Whatever they have, it wasn't enough to guard them against the giant electro-proton bomb the Republic used to wipe out an entire Separatist army in this episode.

The bomb also uncovered an ancient zillo beast...

You know, I'm not even going to try to describe the zillo beast other than to say that this is the Star Wars version of Godzilla, though the two creatures don't look anything alike. Also, the zillo beast has lightsaber-proof scales. Okay, fine. Here's a picture:

So, yeah, plenty of rampaging beast action.

But the core of the story is the conflict between killing or saving the zillo beast. The dugs, whose planet the zillo occupies, want to destroy it. They don't care that it's possibly the last of its kind. Mace Windu wants to save it and relocate it. However, the Republic needs a treaty with the dugs to help in the war, and the dugs withhold their signatures from the deal until the Jedi help to destroy the beast. Palpatine, of course, plays politics with the situation, claiming that the treaty is more important than saving the beast.

It's a good episode, the first of two dealing with the zillo beast. I kept expecting that something would turn up later in the series in relation to this stuff, but I'm not remembering any return to creature at the moment. Maybe if the series had been allowed to keep going? It's hard to say, though, since there were still four seasons in which something could have come up again with the zillo.

Oh, this episode also gives us Mace saying, "I have a bad feeling about this." I think it's the only time we hear that from him. It's a good moment.

Clone Wars -- "The Mandalore Plot" (Ep. 2.12)

-- If you ignore the past, you jeopardize the future.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

I'm not sure if I can say this is my favorite season two story arc or not, but it is one of my favorite arcs from Clone Wars overall, which I can say because it's one of the ones I remembered best before starting to watch the series again (for this thing that The Armchair Squid and I are doing). This arc has more than a few very memorable, and important, characters/concepts/things that it introduces.

Let's deal with the obvious one first:
"The Mandalore Plot" takes us to the planet Mandalore, a place every kid who got one of those early Boba Fett figures back in 1979/80 wanted to go. Face it, Boba Fett may still be the coolest character ever to come out of Star Wars, and they really never gave us anything to go on for decades. When they finally did, it was in the person of Jango Fett, and they still told us nothing. But "The Mandalore Plot" finally gives us some background.

For one thing, the episode reveals that the Mandalorians, or at least the warriors who wore the armor, had a longstanding animosity with the Jedi. I think the implication there is that their armor suits were developed specifically to counter the Jedi, which would explain why Obi-Wan has so much trouble with Jango Fett in Attack of the Clones. And, actually, again in this episode of The Clone Wars.

Another thing we get to see is the darksaber, an ancient Jedi weapon stolen by the Mandalorians long ago.

The darksaber is a cool weapon and works similarly to a lightsaber. The series never provides much background on what it is or where it came from or anything like that, but it does turn up in later episodes.

And then there's Satine. Satine is an important character for reasons I'm not going to go into yet: They'd be spoilery. However, I will say one thing: I find it completely amusing that they named the character Satine, the name of Nicole Kidman's character in Moulin Rouge. That's a hint, by the way, but that's all I'm going to say. Well, other than that she'll be back.

Oh, and the introduction of Death Watch. That's a thing, too.

Mostly, The Clone Wars doesn't contain this kind of world building. It does occasionally, but it's generally focused on characters or showing us places we've already been or creating an interesting side note that only exists for an episode or two. This arc, though, seems very foundational to me because of the depth it gives us for Boba Fett's background. You know at some point Disney is going to get around to doing a Boba Fett movie, so I would expect that at least some of this stuff from these episodes will come into play again.

Personally, I'd love to see the darksaber make it to the big screen.

"We'll have to stand and fight or, in your case, just stand."

Star Wars: A Discussion (Episode VI)

One of the big questions around my house (mostly from my daughter because she loves R2-D2) leading up to The Force Awakens was, "Why is there a new droid?" It's a fair question but one I mostly had to shrug at when she would ask it. My wife, though, gave the cynical (but probably accurate) answer of "merchandising."

However, after seeing the movie, I think the impetus lies elsewhere. This is how I imagine it going:

Abrams: We have a problem.
Disney: What's that?
Abrams: I gotta go fast.
Disney: We, um, don't know what you mean.
Abrams: That's okay; I don't either. But this movie is going to be fast! Lots of running.
Disney: Yeah, so?
Abrams: Bro, R2 is slow. He can't keep up with all the action I'm gonna throw! I need a droid we won't have to tow. It's gotta go fast!
Disney stares at Abrams for several long minutes. Abrams is virtually vibrating in his seat.
Disney: So what you're saying is that you want a new droid?
Huey Lewis music suddenly wafts through the air with the words, "I want a new droid. One that does what it should. One that won't make me feel too slow, one that'll help my livelihood." It suddenly stops and Disney smiles.
Disney: Oh! You want a new droid! A fast droid! Yes! We'll make you a new droid.
Abrams: Great! Awesome! I gotta go fast!

Yeah, that's kind of how it goes in my head. Abrams gets a droid that can roll and bounce along on the ground with Rey and Finn as they run like crazy and Disney gets a brand new cute droid to merchandise the hell out of.

And, well, that worked. Yes, my daughter loves R2 but, now, she also loves BB-8. "He's so cute!"

But, you know, BB-8 is a fine addition to the movies. He rather subverts R2's  observational role but, hey!, Disney has subverted many things with their whole "making a movie for the fans" thing. He, the droid, was fun, and that's what counts, right?

However, not all of what made it into The Force Awakens works so well as BB-8, Starkiller Base, for instance. Setting aside the fact that this is part of the whole repetitive story issue (but seriously! again?), how does this even work? It's like they forgot to think the whole thing through (but at least it's not as bad as "red matter" (because, really, "red matter" was the best you could come up with, Abrams?)). I can be okay with them building a Death Star inside of a planet, but there are... let's call them inconsistencies:
1. Starkiller Base destroys the Hosnian system. Where did it get the energy for that blast? You're not going to convince that it "came loaded with one shot already available." Sure, as my wife pointed out, maybe it was a binary star system, but that doesn't ring true to me. It still had an atmosphere and plant life on the surface, so it hadn't come from some other system first. It had to be still in its home system.
2. The Star Wars database says that the beam from Starkiller Base travels through hyperspace, which explains how it gets to Hosnian Prime so quickly. But, if it's travelling through hyperspace, why can we see it? Come on guys; that's just not cool. Don't break the rules just because you want everyone to watch the beam go by and be all "oooh..." at it.

Oh, and see, I had to go to the Star Wars database to find that out about the beam going through hyperspace (because prior to looking, I was miffed that the beam shot across the galaxy in seconds), which is something something that irks me. I shouldn't need to go looking outside the movie for explanations of things inside the movie. Like the thing with Ren's lightsaber and why it's built that way (because there's an actual reason beyond it looking cool). That's one thing Lucas did very well: He gave us all the information we needed within the movies. And you might say that knowing why Ren's lightsaber looking the way it does (and I mean the flame-like appearance of the blade, not the cross-hilt) is not necessary, but an aberration like that popping up after six movies of lightsabers not looking like that begs the question. I shouldn't need to go out of the movie to find "why?"

And, yes, maybe that info will come in backstory in the next movie. Who knows. If that was the only thing, it wouldn't bother me, but that's just a prime example of a lot of things in this movie where Disney put the information in some other medium so that you have to buy a book or a comic book or whatever to find out. Irksome. And damaging to the integrity of the movie.

The other big problem I have with the movie is that everyone knows everything right away all the time. It's very un-Star Wars. I mean, the search for the droids by the Empire in A New Hope is part of what gave the early part of the movie its tension. But in this one, everyone knows that BB-8 is BB-8 as soon as they see it, and the First Order just shows up. But, you know, gotta go fast! It's not restricted to the First Order, though; it's everyone all the time. Rey and Finn steal the Falcon: Han shows up. [I'm sorry; there's no good explanation for that.] Then both rival gangs show up. Not to mention the Resistance showing up to take down the First Order when they're attacking Maz's place. There's just too much everyone knowing everything and/or coincidence.

And don't even get me started on the whole "map to Luke Skywalker" thing. Why is there a map to a person? And how exactly is that bit of the galaxy "uncharted" when it clearly fits within a map of the entire charted galaxy. Oh, wait... I said don't get me started. Oops.

So, yeah, I like the movie, but I'm not in love with it the way I am with the rest of Star Wars. Not right now. I'm sure it will grow on me but, right now, it's like the one kid who is constantly getting into everything and you keep having to say "stoooop!" to. You love the kid, but you just wish s/he would go away for a while and quit making noise. And, yes, darnit! I want to go see it again.

Next: 3D!

Clone Wars -- "Lightsaber Lost" (Ep. 2.11)

-- Easy isn't always simple.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

Sometimes I think there is too much emphasis on the importance of the lightsaber in Star Wars; after all, Darth Vader deflected blaster bolts with his hand. It seems to me that the lightsaber should fall as a distant second to the Force. But, then, Vader is extremely powerful and, maybe, the lightsaber is that important to your "average" Jedi. Certainly, "your lightsaber is your life" seems to be an everyday teaching of the Jedi, one even Anakin ascribed to.

So it comes as no surprise when Ahsoka is dismayed at the loss of her lightsaber to a pickpocket during what should have been a simple mission. It's also not surprising that she doesn't want Anakin to find out.

She enlists the aid of ancient Jedi Tera Sinube. I mean ancient in the way your great-grandfather is ancient and will suddenly just be asleep at odd moments but, yet, do things that will constantly amaze you. To say that he's slow moving is an understatement. The episode becomes an exercise in patience for Ahsoka.

Which, in the end, is the point.

Ahsoka is fairly frantic over the loss of her 'saber and her anxiety interferes with her ability to focus and concentrate. Tera's lesson to her is, basically, "Calm down. Take your time." It's a hard lesson for Ahsoka to learn and not one she's going to get from Anakin, the resident hothead of the Jedi, but she does seem to get it.

There's also a bit of intrigue.

It's a good, solid episode. A good one-shot for people who aren't closely following the series as it doesn't involve needing to know anything that isn't provided within the episode itself. And, hey, it's always fun to get to meet other Jedi.

Maleficent (a movie review post)

Let's get one thing straight right here at the outset: This is not any kind of prequel. This is not the live action prequel to Disney's Sleeping Beauty. It doesn't pretend to be. This is not like Oz the Great and Powerful (which is a prequel but which I still haven't seen).

No, Maleficent is the story of Sleeping Beauty told from the perspective of the villain. Sort of. At any rate, it's told from a different perspective than the one that has been presented in popular culture for the last half century and more. I think they did an amazing job.

The movie is magnificent to look at. The tree men that serve as the border guards are astounding and the land serpent was... well, that was incredible. Not to mention the work they did on Flittle, Knotgrass, and Thistletwit. And the dragon! Well, I think it's enough to say that the movie looked amazing, but, then, there is also Angeline Jolie who was impeccable in her role. Not that there wasn't makeup to go with that, but I think she almost didn't need any help pulling off the fairy look. Except for the wings. I think it's safe to bet that she doesn't have her own wings.

The performances were excellent, especially Jolie. Elle Fanning pulled off exactly the persona of someone who is happy and beautiful all the time. Sharlto Copley was crazy scary... or, maybe, he was scary crazy. One of the two. The three fairies pulled off the same sort of bickering as the fairies in the animated Sleeping Beauty; they were wonderful and hilarious. And Sam Riley was great, too.

The only possible issue with the movie is the whole "true love" thing. Disney continues to try to undo its whole cliche around that theme, which is fine and good, but it hasn't even been a year since Frozen, so I hope this is not a new trend, taking the "true love" theme in some other direction every movie for the next... well, who could even guess how long that could go on. Anyway, it was fine for this movie and handled well, but 3/4 of my family reacted in the same way to it: "I hope this isn't going to be their new thing." I guess we'll just have to wait and see on that one.

Overall, this is a great movie. It has everything you could want, none of which I'll name, because that would mean spoilers, even if I did already mention the dragon. But, then, we all knew about the dragon, right? Wait, it doesn't have lightsabers, but I think that's okay. I'll just put it like this: My wife cried. It's almost a certain thing that a movie is good if my wife cries, so there you are. This one gets 5 tears.

Pacific Rim (part 2)

As I said last time, Pacific Rim was an amazing movie to watch. Seriously impressive visual display. And it leads off with it, too, as we start out right at the first Kaiju attack. The problem is that it's a prologue, and a prologue with voice over, at that. I really don't enjoy that kind of thing in movies. To compound the problem, it was the prologue to the prologue. Yes, the movie had to have two prologues. Just about the time I was allowing myself to get into the movie and be unannoyed by the prologue, we find out that what should have been the beginning of the movie was just another prologue. So, now, we're something like 20 minutes into the film, and the actual movie hasn't even started.

That issue with the storytelling ends up being the movie's greatest flaw. Basically, they started what was an epic tale spanning years and skipped to the last battle. There's no emotional connection to any of the characters, no foundation for the arbitrary scientific-sounding crap they fling at you in the same way that chimpanzees fling poo (and, yes, I have a story about that... for another day), and no logic to the things that happen. IF they had started at the beginning of the story or, at least, closer to it, they could have built something more believable. It's kind of too bad, because, like I said, visually amazing.

I'm not even going to get into the specific story issues. They are just too numerous to list. In fact, I'm sure I've forgotten most of them. Let's just say this movie is more hole than cheese (Swiss cheese, you know).  I'll sum it up this way: After the movie was over and my friends and I were comparing notes, so to speak, they were all about how great they thought it was. But I wasn't saying much. Not much more than it was amazing to look at, at any rate. And they're used to this from me, to me being the one most likely to not like a movie, but I was really trying not to say anything, but I guess I had this look on my face, because they were all like, "What? What was it that you didn't like? Because it was amazing." So I said I would share the one thing I thought was the most stupid (the arbitrary choice to have two pilots because the "neural load" was too much for one pilot (like I said, there's a lot of scientific-sounding crap flung at the audience to achieve what they wanted in the story, but that "neural load" crap is just that: crap)), and one of the guys started to respond with "but the right hemisphere and the left...," and I just kind of looked at him, and he stopped, and, then, all three of them started spewing various stupidities from the movie. And that lasted for something like half an hour, and I never brought up another thing. So, see, all three of these guys that walked out of the theater loving the movie couldn't hold the stupid back once the gate was open, much like the Kaiju gate in the movie.

I wish I could say something positive about the acting, but there's nothing there to talk about. No one was horrible, but no one was great, either. Or, even, all that good. It was a 'fest of mediocre. Okay, Charlie Day was good, but he was as good as it got. I mean, Idris Elba was so flat, they had to give him a nose bleed to pass for emotion.

The whole movie was like getting a giant present wrapped in the most awesome wrapping ever: glittery paper, bows, a great card, but, when you open it, you find an open package of chewing gum or something. To put it another way: big hat, no cattle.

But I'd still say to go see it at the theater, because it's just that kind of movie.

So... The movie ended, and we were heading out, trying to follow this other guy that had been with us, but he was on call there at LucasFilm, so he was heading back to his desk, so we started out going that way, too, so we ended up going off through the building into areas I had never been...

And there was just so much cool stuff! Around one corner was a display case with a tyrannosaurus Rex model in it from Jurassic Park and, down the hall, a case with a model of the foot structure of the T. Rex. And, of course, more movie posters. And, in a little lounge area, a suit of silver robot armor from some commercial ILM did at some point, and, on the other side of that, a set of Tatooine Stormtrooper (sandtrooper) armor! I so wanted to touch it; I mean, it was right there, but I restrained myself. There were display cases of models all down the halls; I don't even remember them all. And, in a room that I could see into (but the door was locked), a full-sized model of some Sith Lord. It was dark in there, so I'm not sure who it was, but the red lightsaber was very visible. It might have been Darth Maul, but it could have been one of the characters from Clone Wars, too.

The walk through the hallways of the LucasFilm building was more than worth any number of bad movies. Next time, I have to make sure I have my camera with me.

The Happiest Place on Earth: Part 4

It's interesting how the Happiest Place on Earth can be accompanied by so much drama. There was a lot of drama. Mostly, it had to do with shopping. Or swimming. It was a lot more than we wanted while at an amusement park, though. Drama and whining are distinctly unamusing.

The hotel, the California Grand that I mentioned in part 2, had a big pool with a big twisty slide, and my daughter wanted to spend time at the pool. The boys didn't want to, and I'm not really a big swim fan, so I didn't want to, but it became apparent that my daughter just wasn't going to be happy if she didn't get to swim, so, initially, we decided to split up the group: the boys and I would stay at the park, and the girl and my wife would go to the pool. The grandparents would just go take a break, which, on Friday, involved a nap. I kind of envied the nap. Anyway, it became more apparent that she would be even less happy if we split the group up. Basically, we all needed to be on her page, which became the least painful option. But it all worked out. I used the pool time on Friday and Saturday to write (a story which should be available soon-ish), and, Saturday, we had lunch at the pool, all seven of us, and that was fun.

There was still the shopping drama, though. Oh My Gosh, the shopping drama! All the kids had money to spend that they'd saved up for the trip, plus they'd been promised some spending money from their grandmother. They didn't know how much or when it would happen, though, and that drove them crazy. And me. And my wife. Because they wanted to GO SPEND their money but also, especially my younger son, wanted to know what they (he) were getting from the grandparents so that they (he) could figure out what (Lego) to buy.

Yes, we went to Disneyland so that  he could spend money on Legos. Yes, Legos that he could buy anywhere. But they had this cool Lego store in the Disney Mall area with these huge Lego sculptures! And, oh!, how I wish I had pictures of these things, but it was after my camera went on vacation. There was a huge Lego dragon on top of the store breathing green fire down on a Lego knight just like in Sleeping Beauty. I think that was the sculpt that has over 1,000,000 bricks in it. And there was an Aladdin and Jasmine with Genie on a flying carpet hanging inside the store, and a life-size Sully and Mike (from Monsters, Inc) by the doorway outside, too. My sons loved that store, and we had to drag them out more than once. Even my daughter got into the whole Lego thing, and she's (mostly) uninterested in Legos.

At any rate, my younger son is always completely paranoid that anything he wants to buy will sell out before he gets to buy it, so he always wants to buy whatever it is NOW NOW NOW! But he didn't actually know what he was going to be able to buy, and the not knowing drove him (and us) crazy. Until Saturday, that is, when he finally got to do his shopping. To be fair, he did also construct his own lightsaber at Star Traders, and that is something he could only do at Disneyland.

And, then, there were the pins. In the end, everyone got into the pins. The pins are SO cool, and they have so many really neat ones. I wanted to buy ALL the Star Wars pins. The whole pin thing is its own saga, but (probably) I will never write that. However, here are some pictures of the pins we came home with.

Oh, on Star Tours, one rider each time gets pegged as the "rebel spy." I didn't know anything about this going onto the ride. Rather, I did, vaguely, because my oldest son (who had ridden it before) tried to tell me about it, but he's not always the best at that kind of thing, so I came away from that discussion with, actually, negative knowledge. Yes, he actually sucked information out of my head through all of that, but, then, I think my kids do that to me on a regular basis. At any rate, the fact that there is a rebel spy on your ship is the reason the Empire is chasing you, and, when we did Star Tours the first time, my oldest son was chosen as the spy, much to our surprise and his overzealous excitement. After being the spy, he felt the need to buy as many items related to being the spy as he could afford, so he bought a t-shirt and this pin (which is almost the same as the shirt except smaller):

And this is the pin that kind of actually catalyzed the whole pin craze (my father-in-law bought it for the younger son):

My daughter's favorite of hers:

There was this one theme at Star Traders that they had all kinds of items for. There was a mug, but it wasn't quite tall enough; if it had been, I would have bought it, because I need a back up mug, but, maybe, the shortness is appropriate. There was a t-shirt, an action figure, a bobble-head, and I don't remember what all else, and I had to have something with this on it, so, eventually, after cycling through all the options several times, I settled on the pin:

All of that to say that the pin collecting thing they have going is pretty fun, but it's fairly expensive, too, because there are just so many pins. They do have trading there, and you can get some really good pins if you know what you're doing, but you have to really know what you're doing. I did manage one fairly nice roundabout trade:

We each got a Fillmore pin (lower left corner) with our Disney package. It's a limited edition pin (a lot of the pins are limited edition, as most of them are only produced for one season), which is cool, but we had five them, so my younger son decided to trade his away. He actually made a bad trade with his pin from a collecting stand point, but he got one that he wanted, so I didn't say anything about it. However, I was later able to trade the pin he got in the poor trade (because I got him a duplicate of it in a set) for the Lightning McQueen (upper right corner) pin which is a highly sought after pin from Cars edition pins. The thing is, the employees have pins that they have to trade if they are a designated pin trader, so she had to trade it to me and actually commented on how good a trade it was.

But I've gone on for much longer than I intended about the pins, which I only meant to mention, but they actually became an important part of the trip, so I'm leaving all of this stuff in.

Other things that were really cool:

They have this light and water show at night which involves spraying sheets of water into the air and projecting film clips onto them. It was incredibly cool

We went to see the Aladdin musical, and that was incredible. I think it was better than the movie. The guy playing Genie was hilarious. The sets and props were magnificent. If you ever get down to Disneyland, you should definitely make time to go see it.

We also went to see the Muppets 3D show, and that was awesome! I suppose if you don't like the Muppets, it wouldn't be a big deal, but we love the Muppets, so it was great. It involved having the theater (yes, the one we were sitting in) get blown up around us. How can you go wrong when the Muppets blow up the theater you're sitting in?

The Haunted Mansion is amazing! We looked up some stuff about it later, and they do all of that with mirrors which just blew me away, because they have ghosts dancing around and stuff right through solid objects, and it was just WOW! I really want to go behind the stage and look at how that's done!

Pirates of the Caribbean was a lot of fun. It has a place where they do film projection onto a sheet of fog or water (I don't remember) which is like what they did at the light and water show. I know they've modified the ride since the movies have been out, so it made me wish I'd been on the original.

All of that aside, possibly the most interesting thing about the trip had nothing to do with any of this. As I've mentioned, we don't do a lot of eating out, and we don't (usually) do much sugar. However, this was an eating out trip. You don't really have an option. We did the equivalent of a couple of years worth of eating out in 5 days on the trip to Disneyland. But my daughter, well, my daughter is enamored with eating out. She always wants to do it and always wants store bought processed crap over the much healthy options that we make at home (especially when it comes to bread). Several times during the trip, my daughter ordered French toast for whatever meal we were having (yes, it's one of her favorite things), and, each time (and some of these were kind of expensive places to eat), she said "dad's is better." That was surprising and gratifying to hear, because stating a preference for anything I make at home over something we buy somewhere else almost never comes out of her mouth. The boys, yes, but never her. That, hearing that from her (more than once (or, even, twice)), may have been the best part of the trip for me. Yes, even better than Star Tours. Maybe.

As it goes with things like this, as we were leaving on Sunday morning and hanging out in the mall area and doing our last shopping and looking and all of that, the question came up, "What was better Trinity lake (see my Let's go on Vacation series) or Disneyland?" Even the kids had a hard time with that one. It's like comparing nectarines to apples. So the question became, "If you could pick just one to do again, which would it be." The kids did better at that one and immediately piped up with "Disneyland!" They like the apples, and, yes, Disneyland is the apple of amusement parks (Six Flags is only the pear). I do like apples, but I had to go with the nectarine, and here's why: when we got back from Trinity lake, I felt rested. It was a great, relaxing trip. When we got back from Disneyland, I felt like I needed a rest. At this stage in my life, as much as I enjoyed Disneyland (and I did), if I had to choose, I would pick the more peaceful and relaxing choice (especially since mornings at Trinity involved sitting on the deck with my mocha and writing). Still, if I want an apple, a nectarine is not a substitute; it's just that, more often, I want a nectarine.

We'll just have to wait and see what develops for next year.

Han Shot First, But...

As I've been mentioning from time to time, Briane Pagel over at The Best of Everything has been hosting this massive 100 day Star Wars trivia contest. Being Briane, though, he can't be satisfied with just having a massive 100 day trivia contest, he has to make it even more complex than that. Part of that has been writing challenges. Today is the due date for the 3rd writing challenge of the series, and I am dutifully posting mine. I'm not going to give any details about what was required for the contest so as not to give anything away in case you don't know about it. If you want to get in on it, though, you probably can. As long as you can get it posted today. Posting a story is worth 100 points in the trivia contest, and the writer of the best story (as deemed by Briane) will win a $10.00 Amazon gist card, so it's hardly a no-win situation. Especially with only, like, three entries at the moment (to my knowledge). Anyway... Here's mine:

The Other Bounty Hunter of Ord Mantell

“How we doin'?” Han yelled from where he was pinned down behind a bunch of crates. Blaster fire splattered off the other side of the stack, and he ducked down even farther.

“Same as always!” Luke responded from behind his own stack of crates. “At least Leia got the droids to the Falcon!”

“Well, I wish she'd give us some cover fire!”

“Rawr!” Chewbacca roared his agreement as he fired his bowcaster over the tops of the crates.

Han looked up at Chewie, “How many do you think there are?”

The wookie shrugged and let out an uncertain sounding grumble.

“That many, huh?”

“Luke!”

Luke was busy leaning around the corner of his pile of crates blasting away. He suddenly dived forward and rolled up behind another stack of crates a little farther down the docking platform, “What?!”

At that moment, there was a low rumble from the Falcon, the sound of the engines spinning up, and... the sound of them shutting down.

“Han! I thought you said you fixed that!”

“It's not my fault!”

Chewie roared agreement with Luke.

“What?” Han shrugged, standing up to high while doing so and causing another round of blaster fire in his direction. Chewie yanked him down and fired his 'caster around the side of the crates. There was a scream off in the distance.

“Good shot...”

“Chewie!” Luke yelled. “Give me cover fire!”

Chewbacca raised his blaster up over the tops of the crates and started blasting away. Tiny explosions went off in the distance as the bowcaster's powerful bolts pelted down. Luke dashed and dived around two more stacks of crates before answering fire was directed his way.

“Kid's gonna get himself killed...”

“Rawoor...”

“What do you know? That wasn't my fault, either.”

A couple of blaster shots rang off in the distance, then they heard the sound of Luke's lightsaber igniting and a scream.

Chewie let out a low chuckle.

“Shut up. It's just luck.”

Han and Chewie both let loose a few rounds of blaster before Chewie ducked back down to reload his bowcaster.

“Get to the ship. Help Leia get her started up.”

“Raoowr!”

Chewie took off at a loping run while Han opened up with cover fire. There was another scream from the direction that Luke had taken, and Han mumbled, “Hope that was one of the bad guys...” He slumped back down behind the crates.

After waiting several moments, Han peeked around the edge of the boxes. Just as he was taking aim at one of the thugs the bounty hunter had hired, a voice said from behind him, “You're that kid with the Deathmark, ain't ya?”

Han dropped and spun, firing blindly, but a blaster over his shoulder convinced him to raise his hands. He quirked up one side of his mouth into a roguish grin, “You got me...” But the site that met his eyes stole the rest of his words.

Leveling a blaster at him, stood a man in a blazing white, sequined jump suit complete with cape, his hair puffed up on one side. His teeth gleamed as bright as the jump suit, and he answered Han with his own roguish grin. Han had to shield his eyes from the glare off of the suit, though, so he didn't catch the answering grin.

“Hey, there, Son... You shot at me.”

Han gave a little shrug, “You shot first.”

The man jabbed his blaster at Han, “Actually, you shot first. I shot second.”

Han paused, nodded, “Okay... but you snuck up on me.”

“Sorry about that... this, uh, this time hopper doohickey... well, it has a mind of its own.”

“Riiight...”

“Look here, Son,” the man in white said, waving his gun around abstractedly, “I'm just here to help.”

“Then why'd you shoot at me?”

“I told you. Because you shot first.”

A new voice joined in at that point, a rough voice from a very scarred face, “What do we have here?” The scarred face looked over the man in white, “And... what are you?”

Low chuckles erupted from all around, and Han and the other man found that while they'd been talking they'd been surrounded by the bounty hunter of Ord Mantell and his thugs.

The man in white shifted the aim of his blaster to the bounty hunter, Han just kept his hands raised, his own blaster hanging loosely from his fingers, and said, “I'm a bounty hunter same as you. Seems I've caught this fella fair and square.”

The scarred faced bounty hunter laughed, his pointy ears twitching slightly as he did so, “Dressed like that!” The gathered thugs laughed, too. “Are you sure you're not the entertainment? How do expect to sneak up on anyone like that?”

“Hey, ma-an, don't step on my blue suede shoes. I got the drop on this one, didn't I? That was more than you could do.”

The yellow eyes of the bounty hunter shifted quickly to the feet of the man in white, “Your boots are white.”

“I know what color my boots are. Why are we talking about my boots?”

A grimace formed on the slightly snouty countenance of the bounty hunter, “You said they were blue.”

“Ma-an... you ain't nothin' but a hound dog. I didn't say anything about my boots.”

Han opened his mouth to speak, but the man in white said, “You keep your mouth shut there, Son.” Han snapped his jaw shut.

“Look... whatever you are, I'm taking this bounty. I've got you surrounded, but I'm not getting paid for you, just for Solo, so, “and he gestured with his blaster, “if you just put that thing away, we'll let you walk out of here.”

The man in white shifted, causing a thousand little flashes of light off of his suit, “I told you I caught him fair and square.”

“And I'm taking him from you fair and square,” grated out the rather squat bounty hunter.

“See... you're stepping all over my blue suede shoes, and I don't like it when people, or... things..., step on my blue suede shoes.” He shifted again as he gestured at the squat, pointy-eared bounty hunter with the scarred face.

The bounty hunter glanced down at the man-in-white's shoes again.

And that's when a blaster bolt left a hole in his chest.

Before the thugs could respond, more blaster bolts rained down from above and Luke landed in their midst, lightsaber singing. The thugs ran.

Han glanced down at the smoking muzzle of the blaster in the man-in-white's hand, “You shot him.”

The man in white gave that roguish grin, “Yeah, I guess I shot first that time.”

Luke deactivated his lightsaber as Han leveled his blaster at the man in white.

Luke waved Han off, “He's okay, Han.”

Blaster still pointed at the man in white, he said, “I'm just being safe. He said he was here to collect the Deathmark on my head.”

“Hell, Son, I just said that to get you out of this mess you were in. I said I was here to help, didn't I?” To prove his point, he holstered his blaster.

Chewbacca dropped down next to Han and grumbled at him. Han answered, “You're sure?”

“Roowr.”

Looking uncertain, Han put away his own blaster.

Off in the distance, the sound of the Falcon's engines started cycling again. Then the sound of them failing. Followed by them catching and the engine coming to life.

“Hey, there, Son... You better get that looked at.”

Han grimaced, “Thanks...”

“Just trying to help.”

“C'mon, Han, let's go,” Luke said as he held out his hand to the stranger. “Thanks.”

“Anytime... anytime...”

The three companions turned to go, leaving the man in white standing alone. As the rounded the corner of the crates, Han turned back, “Hey... I didn't catch your name.”

“Elvis... but you can call me The King.”

Han gave his sideways grin, “Okay... well, thanks, King.”

“Hey, it was nothing.”

“You're pretty good in a fight... why don't you come with us?”

“Thank you very much... but you ain't seen nothin'. I didn't even get out my karate.”

Han blinked, “What?”

Elvis kicked on foot into the air and made a slashing motion with his right hand, “I have a black belt.”

“Oh... well... thanks again...”

Han walked on around the crates but, then, felt as if he should make the offer one more time and turned back.

Elvis was gone.