Rebels: "Relics of the Old Republic" (Ep. 2.04)

I'm a bit reminded of Howl's Moving Castle with this pair of episodes. The clones live in an old Republic tank, travelling slowly around the desolate planet they live on. There are things, like laundry, hanging off the outside of the tank. Being just a 20-minute show, they don't spend much time delving around the innards of their home, but there's just enough there to make me wish that they had. The fact that Gregor's kind of crazy just heightens that desire. I mean, who knows what kind of stuff he has stashed in odd corners inside that thing.

The only problem in all of this is that someone called the Empire. "Hello, we have a Jedi here..." As if Kanan didn't have enough against the clones already.

But it does give us a chance to see the clones scoff at and make fun of their first AT-ATs. That was a fun moment. Oh, come on, it's not anything people haven't said before, so it's good, I suppose, to see the creators making fun of their own thing. And what do AT-ATs care?

All of that, and a new Inquisitor is coming to town...

So far, season two is shaping up to be far superior to season one. The themes being introduced are much more mature and interesting than the rather juvenile season one. Which is not to say that I don't expect there to be more juvenile hi-jinks, because even Clone Wars had its more juvenile moments.

Clone Wars -- "The Lost One" (Ep. 6.10)

-- What is lost is often found.

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[Well, actually, considering that we're into season six, now, probably no one new is going to sign up, BUT! Hop over to The Armchair Squid for his take on the current episode.]

I don't like the opening quote. It's like, "Sure, but what is lost is also often not found," so what's the point in saying that. It takes me back to Dead Poets Society: "I might be going to Yale. But, um, I might not." That was teenage awkwardness, but whoever chose the quote for this episode doesn't have that excuse.

I'm slightly ambivalent about the episode itself, too. Not because it isn't good; it's a good episode. However, I'm unsure as to the point of it for the audience. It seems that its existence is so that they can state explicitly something we already knew. At least, it's something I already knew; I just assume everyone else already knew it, too. Maybe it is a necessary episode for people who hadn't put those pieces together?

It seems like its greater purpose is to allow the Jedi to know something the audience already knows, but that seems unnecessary to me. It's just driving home the point of how outplayed the Jedi have been, which is summed up when Yoda expresses that they are on the incorrect road but that it's the only road left open to them. They have no other options.

We do get to see Commander Wolffe and his unit again. He's a clone I would have liked to have seen more about.

Anyway... If you happen to be wondering about Sifo-Dyas and that whole thing with the Kaminoans and the clone troops, you should watch this episode.

Clone Wars -- "Orders" (Ep. 6.4)

-- The popular belief isn't always the correct one.

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[Well, actually, considering that we're into season six, now, probably no one new is going to sign up, BUT! Hop over to The Armchair Squid for his take on the current episode.]

What's worse than looking for a needle in a haystack? Looking for a needle in a needlestack,
I mean, sure, the clones have adopted identifying markings and such, but being tasked with finding one specific clone among, at least, thousands... Well, that's a job I wouldn't want to have.

But it is the job of the security forces on Coruscant after Fives take flight after a frame up to make it look like he was trying to assassinate Chancellor Palpatine. And, of course, we know it's a set up, and that's part of what makes this episode so difficult to watch. We know who Palpatine is, and we know how those around him are playing into his hands, and we want to yell at Shaak Ti, "No! Don't do it! Don't leave Fives alone with him!" But she doesn't listen to us.

To say this episode ends tragically is an understatement, because we now know just how close the Jedi came to finding out about Order 66, how close one clone came to changing everything...

For me, that makes Revenge of the Sith even more sad.

Aside from all of that, it seems pretty clear to me as of this episode that Count Dooku had no idea that Darth Sidious and Palpatine were one and the same. Interesting...


"Have you seen this clone?"

Clone Wars -- "Fugitive" (Ep. 6.3)

-- When in doubt, go to the source.

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[Well, actually, considering that we're into season six, now, probably no one new is going to sign up, BUT! Hop over to The Armchair Squid for his take on the current episode.]

What is life?
And is it yours?
I mean, that's one of the fundamental questions, right? And it's a question becoming more and more difficult to grapple with, especially as we become more and more able to produce life on our own terms. This question they deal with in the Clone Wars about whether the clones are independent beings or just property isn't really hypothetical anymore. We could clone people at this stage. To a certain extent, we can even make them to order. Are they property?

And, for that matter, aren't my kids just products? It's not like they made themselves. Or raised themselves.

So where do we draw the line?

It seems not even the Jedi have an answer to this one. One the one hand, there's Yoda, who seems to see each individual clone as an individual, independent being; but, on the other hand, you have some Jedi who see the clones as no better than droids, just biological machines.

It's hard to tell precisely where Shaak Ti falls on the scale, but she seems to lean more toward the "we own you" side of things.

All of these are the conflicts driving Fives to go rogue in order to figure out what killed his brother, Tup. Because, sometimes... actually, frequently, especially in this day and age of corporate law and Trumpism, doing the Right thing means going against the establishment. And not because there's any kind of conspiracy, but because of things like implicit bias. That's really what Fives is up against, the bias in the system against clones because they aren't full people. Probably, they only count as 3/5 of a person.


"I am not a piece of hardware! I'm a living being!"

Clone Wars -- "Conspiracy" (Ep. 6.2)

-- The wise benefit from a second opinion.

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[Well, actually, considering that we're into season six, now, probably no one new is going to sign up, BUT! Hop over to The Armchair Squid for his take on the current episode.]

The Jedi have sent Tup to Kamino to find out what caused him to assassinate Jedi Master Tiplar. This is somewhat like Brer Fox throwing Brer Rabbit into the briar patch. Not that it's exactly the Kaminoans fault. Apparently, they really just don't "get" the Jedi and don't understand that "Lord" Tyrranus is a Sith and not part of the Jedi Order. And it doesn't really seem to bother them that they are taking secret orders from one "Jedi" that they must not let any of the other Jedi know about.

Or maybe they just don't care because why question the money?

At any rate, it puts the Kaminoans at cross purposes with the Jedi and, specifically, Fives.

Fives, of course, doesn't much care for anyone else's agenda if it puts Tup, his best friend, in danger, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to save Tup's life, a life the Kaminoans plan to end to cover up the fact that clones have inhibitor chips in their heads put there at the behest of the Sith.

Again, this is a great arc and one of the most significant ones in the series. You should do yourself a favor and watch it.

Also, the droid character AZ-3 is a good addition for the episode. Its relationship with Fives is interesting to watch.

One other interesting note: There are empty seats on the Jedi Council. I'm not sure if they've shown that before, but there are at least two seats empty during a consultation in this episode.


"I always wanted to have human feelings. But I do not. Goodbye."

Clone Wars -- "The Unknown" (Ep. 6.1)

-- The truth about yourself is always the hardest to accept.

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[Well, actually, considering that we're into season five, now, probably no one new is going to sign up, BUT! Hop over to The Armchair Squid for his take on the current episode.]

Technically, we could be through with the whole Clone Wars thing since season six was never aired; however, they did release part of it on disc, so we, of course, own it. And season six has some important stuff in it; in fact, this first arc is easily in the top three arcs of importance in the series and arguments could be made for its being the most important.

So why didn't it air?

I may have mentioned this before, but let's touch on it again.

The Clone Wars was not "cancelled" in the way that TV shows generally get cancelled. This is why season six was so far along in production when the decision was made to end the series with season five. See, Clone Wars was a Cartoon Network show, licensed to them from Lucasfilm on a five year contract but, before the contract was up, Disney bought Lucasfilm. Not a big deal in a general sense except that Disney has its own TV station and didn't want to be licensing out their new Star Wars property to some other network so, when it came time to renegotiate the licensing agreement, Disney made the cost too high to make it worthwhile for CN to pay it and, thus, The Clone Wars abruptly ended at the end of season five with season six production in full swing.

Why didn't Disney just move Clone Wars over to the Disney Channel?
That was about branding.
And, so, Rebels was born as a Disney channel show and Clone Wars was allowed to drop away.
Fortunately, Disney allowed some of the episodes to be completed for a DVD release.

Which brings us to the first episode of season six, as I said, one of the most important arcs in the series as it has to do with Order 66. It also introduces us to the only set of Jedi siblings that I know of. Or, at least, can think of at this moment. Also, Tim Curry as Darth Sidious! And I'd say more, but you should just watch it.


"I am programmed to resist intimidation."

Clone Wars -- "The Wrong Jedi" (Ep. 5.20)

-- Never give up hope, no matter how dark things seem.

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[Well, actually, considering that we're into season five, now, probably no one new is going to sign up, BUT! Hop over to The Armchair Squid for his take on the current episode.]

And so we get to the end of the Alfred Hitchcock-inspired titles. "The Wrong Jedi," of course, comes from The Wrong Man and has roughly the same kind of plot. I say that as someone who doesn't really remember the movie very well since I probably saw it when I was 10, but the synopsis backs that up.

If you've been keeping up, you'll know that Ahsoka has been accused of a crime she didn't commit. And set up very solidly. And no one other than Anakin believes in her. It's the kind of thing that can really shake your faith, and her allegiance to the Jedi Order is a faith.

One of the underlying conflicts of this arc is jurisdiction. It was the Jedi Temple that was bombed, so they believe they should have jurisdiction over the case; but clones were killed, so Tarkin claims that the military has jurisdiction. The result of the conflict over that is interesting, to say the least, but to say more would be to spoil the episode for you, and, really, this is an arc that really needs to be seen. Probably more than any other single event in the series, this is the one where we can best see Anakin losing his grip on what it means to be a Jedi.

But, really, it's not about Anakin, as Ahsoka very pointedly tells him: "This isn't about you."

Really, this arc is pivotal to the whole Star Wars series. Not only does it reveal to us this critical moment for Anakin, but it really puts on display how it is that only a couple or few decades later that people have forgotten the Jedi. It's not so much that they don't remember but that they turned their backs on them.

Hmm... The people turned away from the Jedi in favor of the Emperor and the Dark Side... That's something that sounds rather familiar.

Clone Wars -- "A Friend in Need" (Ep. 4.14)

-- Friendship shows us who we really are.

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The return of Death Watch... and a plan to assassinate Dooku?

Having the Death Watch around is always interesting, and, hey, it's always cool to see the Darksaber, but I actually don't want to talk about what the episode is about. No, again, I want to focus on something that's off to the side of the story.

When Ahsoka, R2-D2, and Lux Bonteri arrive at the Death Watch camp, the members of the Death Watch are busy torturing... droids. For fun. Their pattern seems to be to torture the droids into inoperability then have someone fix the droids up so that they can torture them some more. And I know some of you, right now, are thinking, "So...? They're droids."

It's important to remember that in Star Wars, droids are sentient. They have self-awareness and value themselves as individuals. This isn't a subject that's ever explored in Star Wars, but it's certainly there in the background. It's actually a parallel line of thought to that of the clones.

Now, most people would probably say it would be wrong to torture clones; they're alive, right? But not everyone believed that. They were, after all, built, so doesn't that make them something like organic machines? "But they can feel pain!" Sure, but so can the droids. "It's not the same!" Why not?

Why not?

Of course, after the Clone War, the making of clones was made illegal. So was the making of droids for combat purposes, though that's barely touched on.

Did you know that science (yeah, I know, for a lot of you, I may as well have just said "magic") is showing us, right now, that dolphins and other marine mammals are self aware? They have names for each other. So, you know, when a dolphin gets caught in a fishing net and pulled out  of the water, some other dolphin out in the ocean is going off to tell the pod, "Samson got caught in a net..." Imagine how you would feel if you found out your neighbor caught and ate your dog.

And some of you are saying, "So what. It's only a dog." Or it's only a dolphin. Or... it's only a black person. Or a Mexican. Or a Muslim. Or a faggot. It's not like they're people, right?



"You don't want to make them angry; they are far from rational."

Clone Wars -- "Carnage of Krell" (Ep. 4.10)

-- Our actions define our legacy.

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We've come to the end of the Krell arc but not the end of the story as it pertains to Krell...

And I don't really know what to say about it that won't give all of this one away.
Fives continues to be one of my favorite clones.
I also like Rex a lot.
Krell is still an asshole...?

Wait, wait, I've got it!
(Yes, Krell is still an asshole.)

How many clones does it take to get to the center of a Jedi? A one, a two, a...
Oh, no, wait, that doesn't really work, does it? Tootsie pops don't generally fight back. Or wield double-bladed lightsabers.

Did I give too much away? I hope not.
This is a really solid story arc that highlights some of the differences in the individual clones. The plight of Dogma, one of the recurring clones in the series (his name should tell you everything you need to know about him), is both sad and hopeful. And a metaphor. A metaphor which is politically appropriate if you painted Krell a slight orange color and put a wispy wig on his head. Dogma's world is destroyed when his eyes are opened and he sees the truth.

I might, now, be giving too much away.

Okay, look, I'm going to quit talking about the episode. You should just go watch the arc, mostly so that you can see this episode. There will be repercussions (I just can't remember when those happen or what they are (which is good! because I'm looking forward to it, now)).
So, now, instead of listening to me, watch this, then go watch the Krell arc.

Clone Wars -- "The General" (Ep. 4.8)

-- The path of ignorance is guided by fear.

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They've done a good job with making Umbara a creepy place. I may have said some of this last time, but it's full of strange, glowing lights; strange, glowing creatures; and strange, glowing death machines that look like strange, glowing creatures. It's fortuitous that these episodes have fallen during the month of October. The only other episodes I can think of that would work so well this month would have been the zombie Geonosian episodes.

General Krell continues to be completely casual about the deaths of his troopers. He doesn't care to explore options because he doesn't have a problem with throwing clones against a wall until the manage to break it down. The lives don't matter because, to Krell, they're not lives. This is brought to light early on when one of the clones, Fives, points out that the general's outstanding record of victories comes along with the highest, by far, casualty count of any other Jedi. This is contrasted to Anakin leading from the front, because Krell leads from the rear. From camp, actually, without, so far, getting involved in any of the combat, something I find odd from a Jedi who is supposed to be such a fearsome combatant.

[Actually, I don't find it odd, because I know what happens from my previous watching of the series; however, I would find it odd if I didn't know. I'm sure my first response to Krell was "what an asshole." Well, now, I already know why.]

The episode is full of some great fight sequences, and you might want to say that they're gratuitous, but they're really not. They serve two purposes:
1. To show Krell's complete disregard for the lives of his clones as he continues to tell them "frontal assault!" no matter how bad things get.
2. To show the divide within the clone ranks themselves as they dissent about whether Krell's orders should be followed.

This is a good story arc and much needed for the redemption of season four.

Also, the opening quote (seen up under the picture) is very appropriate for our own current election season.

Clone Wars -- "Senate Murders" (Ep. 2.15)

-- Searching for the truth is easy. Accepting the truth is hard.

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This episode, I believe, is the first episode where we begin to see what and who become the core of the rebellion. I could be wrong about it being the first because I'm not looking back to see, but it is the first episode with Mon Mothma, so I'm going with it. The episode revolves around the issue of putting a halt to the creation of anymore clone troopers for the war.

Which is an interesting question when you're in the midst of a war against an aggressor. The contention of Padme, Bail Organa, and Mon Mothma is that if troop production is halted then diplomacy would have to take its place. They believe diplomacy is the road to peace. Palpatine, of course, believes that peace can only be achieved through victory on the field.

At least, that's his stated belief.

I suppose that must be somewhat like playing chess against yourself only with some of the pieces making their own decisions. Hmm... Maybe it's more like playing The Sims. My wife used to get constantly frustrated by her sims going off and doing things she didn't tell them to do.

The action in the episode has nothing to do with any of this, though. All of this is just the backdrop, but I find the backdrop more interesting than what's going on center stage. Not that there's anything wrong with what's going on center stage, because there's not. It's a fine episode and one that doesn't involve the Jedi at all. Or the clones. It's very rare in that. Still, it's the philosophical questions that are touched on that are of real interest, the things you see played out in the background.

Clone Wars -- "Grievous Intrigue" (Ep. 2.9)

-- For everything you gain, you lose something else.

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It's always "nice" to see the return of Grievous. No, seriously. He's like so many classic villains who always got away because they always had some great escape plan ready to go when things didn't go their way. I'm thinking specifically of Zoltar of Battle of the Planets.

So, yeah, Grievous is back, and he manages to capture Eeth Koth. As I've said before, it's nice when we get so see more of other Jedi, and this episode also features Adi Gallia. When a Jedi, a Master no less, is captured, what else do you do other than stage a rescue?

The episode illustrates just how valuable the Jedi are. Well, to the Jedi, at any rate, as they send a whole fleet after Koth and lose a ship in the process. Sure, they also wanted to capture (or kill) Grievous, but the mission, with the rescue of Koth, was a success, even with the loss of the ship and all of the men (clones) aboard.

It kind of makes you wonder.

It also makes you wonder what Grievous was doing in this episode. Grievous' MO is not to capture Jedi but to kill them, so why did he take Koth captive? There doesn't appear to ever be a clear answer to that. I mean, according to him, he did it so that the Jedi would come to rescue Koth, but why? That's also not Grievous' style. He attacks by surprise and always when he has a clear advantage; he would not set himself up as the target of a concerted attack.

Really, I think the writers wanted to do another rescue mission and just forgot to give Grievous a clear motivation for his actions or any kind of plan. So, while the action was rather spectacular, the episode left me wondering why.

There was, however, a great scene where Obi-Wan and Grievous go back and forth about how they anticipated each other's moves. It brought to mind the scene in Princess Bride where Vizzini and Westley have to work out which glass has the poison in it. I'm just not sure in this episode of Clone Wars which one Obi-Wan is.

Clone Wars -- "Innocents of Ryloth" (Ep. 1.20)

-- The costs of war can never be truly accounted for.

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Continuing the Ryloth story, we pick up with Obi-Wan making his ground assault now that Anakin and Ahsoka have broken the blockade. This episode is back to dealing with a moral dilemma, and it's an interesting one, at that.

The Republic is there at Ryloth to liberate the twi'leks. As such, Obi-Wan lets the clones know during their landing that that means not destroying the twi'leks homes and such. That means they can't just bomb the living heck out of the droids. The droids that have built their bases in the twi'lek villages. Oh, and the droids are also using the twi'leks as living shields, the commander droid having calculated that the Jedi would be much less likely to wage an all-out attack against them if they were behind a hostage shield.

Some of the clones are not happy about the situation and think there is too much concern for the "tail-heads," as they call them. They just want to destroy the droids, and they don't really care if the natives get in the way.

To make things more interesting, two of the clones, one of whom really doesn't like the tail-heads, run into a young twi-lek probably orphan while they are on a scouting mission. Or should I say "pick up a young twi'lek"? Either way, it gives the clones (and through them, the audience) a different perspective on what it's like to have your village ravaged by invaders.

The struggle to save the twi'leks without destroying their villages -- and without bringing harm to them -- is an interesting one. It makes me think of all of those epic super hero battles to save the city... in which they destroy the city. Is what you did worthwhile in those cases?

Also, as an aside, the other day my wife and I were talking about education in the South and why it is so poor compared to education in the rest of the US (there are no Southern states in the top 10 ranked states for education and only four in the top 25). One reason is that the South's education system is still suffering the effects of the Civil War. And I don't mean just inaccurate teaching (like the debacle going on in Texas, right now, with the new text book that was released that refers to slaves as "migrant workers") but the fact that the school system has suffered a lag in performance directly tied to the effects of the war. So, if you glance up at the opening quote from this episode, you can see that it's completely true. The lack of adequate education has been a high cost (that can never be measured) for the South.


"I guess we're the best."

Clone Wars -- "Trespass" (Ep. 1.15)

-- Arrogance diminishes wisdom.

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The episode opens with Obi-Wan, Anakin, and company investigating the loss of communication with a clone base on a Hoth-like planet. Obi-Wan's comment that they're in the planet's tropical zone was amusing. They find the helmets of the clone troopers hanging from spears that have been driven into the ground. As they move on and find the same thing with droid heads at a Separatist base, my son said, "Well, this is weird and creepy," which is almost exactly what I'd been thinking, that they'd done a really good job of making the opening creepy. It's something you don't often see in Star Wars, and it was well done.

Of course, it didn't last very long before they got to the actual story, but it was a very well done opening.

The actual story has to do with the leader of the people from a moon in the same system trying to claim the planet as belonging to his people. The problem is that there is an indigenous population on the ice world, and the chairman wants them wiped out. He's trying to use the Jedi and the clones in a war against the Tal so that his people will have claim to the planet.

The other problem is that, supposedly, no one knew about the indigenous population until they came to find out why they'd lost communication with the clone base.

So I think there are some unspoken things going on in this episode, because it's the only way the episode actually makes sense. The first of these is that Chairman Chi Cho knew about the Tal already. Chi Cho is the one who insisted upon a base being put on an otherwise unoccupied planet and, apparently, one that is fairly worthless. Which makes you wonder why Chi Cho so desperately wants to lay claim to the world, but they don't ever discuss that. All of this reduces Chi Cho to a very two-dimensional character who wants all the things and wants all the things in his way to all the things to be killed.

However, the political maneuvering in the episode is interesting, especially following the assumption that Chi Cho knew about the Tal and was putting the Jedi and the clones in a position to go to war with the Tal for him. The episode explores the bounds of authority the Jedi have, and we get to see, primarily, Obi-Wan doing some political maneuvering of his own to bring about the resolution he wanted.

Politics is a big thing in the Star Wars universe. You don't really see a lot of it in the original trilogy, but you know it's there, shown in the dissolution of the senate by the Emperor. Politics is at the center of the prequels, though (and is probably a reason people didn't resonate with them as much), and it's interesting to get to see some of that, especially Jedi politics, in the Clone Wars series. Jedi politics are not much dealt with in any of the movies. Obi-Wan's skill in manipulating the situation is fairly impressive.

Another thing of note:
Somewhere between this episode, in which the Tal are not space-faring, and A New Hope, the Tal take to the stars, because there is a Tal in the cantina on Tatooine. Yes, a Tal, from a snow world, hanging out in a bar on a desert planet. I'd really love to know the story behind that!

Obliviated

There is, sometimes, a desire to see a movie that you know is going to be bad, but you just can't talk yourself out of seeing it. For whatever reason. Maybe, like with the Die Hard movies, you've seen all the other ones and can't make yourself not watch the newest one despite all the dumb pouring off of it. Or, maybe, there's just some cast member that you just have to see every movie that he's in, like I was with Harrison Ford back in the 80s. Or, maybe, the movie just looks cool and you hope you're just wrong about how bad it's going to be. That's kind of where I was with Oblivion. It just looked cool, and I was hoping, maybe, it was one of those things that the masses wouldn't get into but was really kind of good.

I was wrong.

So here's the spoiler warning, because I'm not going to try to not talk about aspects of the movie, so, if you think, like me, that the movie looks cool and you're probably going to watch it anyway despite what I say (just don't do it. really), you shouldn't read this. If you want to know about all of the dumb (you should!), read on.

I realize this isn't an issue for some people, but it is for me, as I've mentioned before: The movie did that opening narration thing to explain what's going on. I'm convinced that opening narration is almost always a bad thing. If you have to have it, you have either (1) started your movie in the wrong place (2) failed to provide information within the movie in a way that works for the viewer. The Star Wars movies are one of the few places where you can find effective opening narration (in the form of the prologue scroll). And, then, not only did Oblivion open with the narration providing the viewer with an out-of-character monologue of events, but all of that same information was provided about halfway through the movie in almost exactly the same format. Please, do not provide me the same information more than once in your movie. I can almost guarantee you that I got it the first time (which is why I tell my kids to not repeat themselves when they do something they find funny: I did just see it happen).

Despite the opening narration, the movie doesn't make much sense. Ostensibly, Jack and Victoria are a team placed on Earth to defend these large fusion reactors, but, really, why are they needed? There's actually no good reason for them to be there. Sure, sure, he's some technician who has to repair the drones, but that's flimsy at best, because that whole set up is just to support the fact that they want this character that doesn't have any memories, but from any kind of logical standpoint, it doesn't make any sense. I mean, it might (almost) make sense if the stated premise of the movie was true, but you know it's not, because, even if it was, what would be the point of erasing the memories of the support teams? However, with the knowledge that the aliens are really in charge, there is absolutely no good reason to have things set up the way they are. Why do they need humans to repair their drones? And why, after the Jack clones fought for them as their army when they took over the Earth, do they need to trick the clones into believing they're normal humans anyway?

Then there's the problem of Jack having this whole wilderness retreat that he's built, somehow, without anyone finding out. He's able to just turn off the tracking unit in his (what I'm calling) dragonfly ship (which  is very cool, by the way) and go "off comm." What the heck? His navigator person (who never leaves "the tower") doesn't have any idea where he is when he does this and neither do the aliens. Seriously? They just allow him to go off and do secret things without bothering to know what he's up to. Completely implausible. Sure, it makes sense if you believe the story as it's presented at the beginning of the movie, but, again, you know that's not the whole story fairly quickly, and the idea that the aliens (or whatever) would just allow this is beyond imagining. It's what the writer/director do to support the lie and get the audience to buy into it, but those things need to make sense after the truth is revealed, too.

Jack has these dreams... dreams of being in New York before it was destroyed, but that was 50 or so years ago, and he's not that old. My wife kept joking about them being "clone dreams" because, at that point, we were trying to go along with what the movie was telling us. Trying. But we both knew she was right. Right in that being what the movie was going to say they were: memories of Jack's life before he was cloned by the aliens. Seriously? This isn't the 80s anymore, and we already knew in the 80s, even in sci-fi, that clones don't get the memories of the being they were cloned from. The memory flashes work if his mind really was "wiped" before his mission, but it doesn't work as some remnant from his genetic donor. It's just dumb. Why can't we seem to get past this stupid idea that clones have the memory of whatever they were cloned from? (And, again, I just have to point out that Star Wars does not do this, the only sci-fi clone movie I can think of that doesn't fall back on that tired idea.)

Also, the drones, which can follow Jack's "DNA trail" (really? we leave a trail of DNA in the atmosphere even when we're in an enclosed, airtight vessel?) have a problem with his voice identification and consider killing him more than once. I suppose they can't sense his DNA when he gets too close. That's only a long-range thing. (Do you sense the sarcasm there?)

And there's the bit where the drones are flying through the human hideout blasting everyone into cinders but, when one of them corners Jack's wife, Julia (introduced only to be a princess-in-the-tower character), and a bunch of other humans in a dead-end corridor, it pauses and decides to scan them. Again, really? The drone, programmed to kill humans, suddenly needs to stop and scan them? For just long enough for it to get exploded from behind, of course.

And, after all of that, we're not even up to the stupidest part of the movie. I know! I see your jaws hanging. The stupidest part is when he finally flies up to the alien ship, this huge, upside-down pyramid thing, and it's just full of vast expanses of space on the inside! When did this become a thing and what kind of sense does it make? So, yeah, he's flying through this huge space and, every once in a while, he has to fly through an opening in a wall, and the walls are covered in clone pods. The only other things in the huge alien space ship are drones. No aliens. And, when he finally gets to the center to arrive at "Sally," it's just another inverted pyramid thing with a flashing (talking?) red light. NO ALIENS! So tell me why they needed to take over the Earth and use it as a source of material for their fusion reactors IF THERE ARE ACTUALLY NO ALIENS? And, if that's all they needed, why didn't they just stop at any of the unpopulated planets on the way into the solar system? Wouldn't that have been so much easier than having to fight a bunch of humans for the materials they wanted? AND WHERE WERE THE ALIENS?

There was also an even more stupidest part. The part where somehow the flight recorder from Jack's spaceship from when he first got captured by the alien ship went from being in the command module, recording what was happening, to being in the sleeping quarters of the ship even though the sleeping portion had been jettisoned. Because that makes all the sense.

The acting, though, wasn't bad. Not great but not bad, either. And the tech was decently cool. But there was a reason (many of them, actually, as I've pointed out) the movie didn't make back its production budget domestically. So, unless you just have to prove to yourself how dumb the movie is, this is not one I could suggest to anyone.

The A to Z of Fiction to Reality: Genetic Engineering

I'm going to call The Island of Doctor Moreau the first instance of genetic engineering in fiction. It's not really presented as such, because DNA research was still in its infancy. Understand what I'm saying here, the book by H. G. Wells came out in 1896, and DNA research was in its infancy... first discovered in 1869; although, no one really knew what it was. Yet. Still, there is no other real explanation for what Moreau is doing in the book, even if that wasn't Wells' point with the novel. Really, he was making a statement against certain types of medical research (specifically, vivisection) which were somewhat horrific and accompanied by great amounts of pain by the "patient." Wells seems to have opened the door to the idea of genetic engineering, at any rate, as fiction throughout the 20th century has been filled with all sorts of genetic engineering and enhancements. The book itself has had many, many adaptations and spin offs.

Genetics and genetic engineering have become one of our modern bogey men, so much of the fiction surrounding genetic engineering has to do with how "playing God," how messing with the natural order of things, will lead to our eventual downfall. Or to a world we don't want to live in. Examples:

Gattaca: A society that revolves around the genetically engineered. Genetic discrimination is pervasive. Valids, those that were born through genetic manipulation to be superior, are the only ones that can qualify for professional positions in society. The in-valids, those born through traditional means, are seen as weaker in all ways and are relegated to menial positions.

Resident Evil: Genetic engineering leads to a zombie apocalypse.

Brave New World: Well, I'll get to this one, later (in a separate post), but this is a book tightly wrapped up in genetic engineering while claiming not be genetic engineering (because it wasn't known, yet, as with Moreau; however, it's clear in concept what is happening).

Of course, the other major example of genetic engineering is in super hero stories and super soldier stories. I'm not even going to bother listing these as there are so, so many. Let's just say they are rampant. Even the clones in Star Wars are genetically engineered.

The first real bit of genetic engineering happened in 1973 with some bacteria. But it was followed up in 1974 with mice. Since then, we've engineered all sorts of things. The food industry does extensive research in genetic engineering; although, people aren't, yet, mostly, at a point where they want to eat food that they know has been altered. However, we tend to have no problem eating, say, cows that have been fed genetically altered corn.

It's even hypothetically possible, at this point, that we could start doing things like choosing the eye color of a baby before it's born. Of course, that's wrapped up in all kinds of ethical arguments, but "they" do think they can do it. If they were allowed. Or, maybe, they have done it, and no one is saying anything about it.

The big thing for me, though, and why I'm taking this back to The Island of Doctor Moreau is that we can do things like

Those are zebrafish. Normally, they look like

They've had genes from coral introduced, and they are commercially available as pets and have been since 2003.

Malaria resistant mosquitoes have also been developed and could prove a huge boon in areas of the world where malaria is a leading cause of death. Trials have shown a reduction of malaria by 80%.

We also have glowing cats:

But these aren't yet available as pets.

Other significant plants and animals that have been genetically engineered:

Venomous cabbage: It's been engineered with scorpion venom in its leaves as a defense against caterpillars, but it harmless to humans.

Goats with spider silk milk: Yes, these goats produce spider silk in their milk which can be used to produced bio-steel. Did you know that spider silk is one of the strongest substances we know of? Stronger than Kevlar. We just can't get enough of it from spiders, but we might be able to from these goats. Or, maybe, we'll end up with Spider-Goat!

Cows that fart less: Why? Because cows are one of the world's leading producers of methane gas, a major cause of global warming. If we can make cows that fart less, we can reduce methane emissions.

I could go on, but there's no need. This stuff is real, but it all started in the pages of a book by H.G. Wells at the end of the 19th century.