Rebels: "Double Agent Droid" (Ep. 3.19)

-- You are mistaking my attention to detail for an attack on your obviously fragile ego.

One might be tempted to think that I've been inspired to get back into Rebels because of the recent release of The Rise of Skywalker. One would be wrong. Actually, it was the ending to The Mandalorian which has put the fire back into me to finish Rebels. Sorry not sorry for the spoiler but the first live action appearance of the Darksaber! Well, I have to know how it ends up where it ends up because, right now, Sabine has it.
This episode has nothing to do with any of that.

No, this episode is a spy mission gone awry. On the surface, it's a chance for us to get to know more about AP-5 and Wedge... except that that doesn't really happen. AP-5 is the same as he always is. Well, except for something that happens at the end of the episode, a something that is probably the most bizarre thing I've ever seen in Star Wars. That doesn't sound quite right. Star Wars, once accepted as a world setting isn't bizarre at all. I can't think of anything from any of the movies or animated shows that I would call bizarre -- okay, a case can be made for the Holiday Special being bizarre, but I haven't seen that since it first aired, so I'm not making that case -- but this was bizarre. So bizarre that my wife looked up from whatever it was she was doing that had nothing to do with watching Rebels to say, "What the fuck is going on?" I may need to watch it again.

The appearance of Wedge in the episode, which I was initially excited about, was a letdown. His entire presence seemed to hinge on a joke that he was on the mission with the two droids because no one else wanted to be. Mostly, he just hung out in the background and didn't speak. Zero character development. It was definitely a missed opportunity to give us some background on a beloved character.

In the end, though, this episode was just a stepping stone for me to get further along in the series so that I can find out what the heck is going on with the Darksaber.
Probably, you can expect a lot more Rebels reviews in the near future.

"The odds are with us."

Clone Wars -- "Missing in Action" (Ep. 5.11)

-- A soldier's most powerful weapon is courage.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

[Well, actually, considering that we're into season five, now, probably no one new is going to sign up, BUT! Hop over to The Armchair Squid for his take on the current episode.]

The adventures of Colonel Gascon continue this week, and we get a clone thrown into the mix. With amnesia. Generally speaking, I hate amnesia stories, but the story of Gregor has been the best thing about this arc so far. Except for the Russian-sounding sullustan. And it would have been okay if they had just used the Russian accent for a bit of audio-flavor, but he was clearly culturally Russian, including naming the clone Gregor, and that felt a little weird.

So, yeah, I'm tired of Gascon, the frog general. I think the first time I watched the series I found him amusing -- that's my memory impression, anyway -- but, this time, I just find him tiresome. It's the prejudice against droids and his own self importance that does it. Perhaps, though, it's fitting for the time we're in, right now, because there are some analogies that can be drawn from the character. Clearly, he has the attitudes of the typical white male boomer; maybe that's why they made him a frog, which is a thought I am, at this moment, finding amusing.

Not enough for me not to be ready for this arc to finish, though. I'm ready to get back to the real story.


"I hope you have a plan to get us off this armpit."

Clone Wars -- "A Friend in Need" (Ep. 4.14)

-- Friendship shows us who we really are.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

The return of Death Watch... and a plan to assassinate Dooku?

Having the Death Watch around is always interesting, and, hey, it's always cool to see the Darksaber, but I actually don't want to talk about what the episode is about. No, again, I want to focus on something that's off to the side of the story.

When Ahsoka, R2-D2, and Lux Bonteri arrive at the Death Watch camp, the members of the Death Watch are busy torturing... droids. For fun. Their pattern seems to be to torture the droids into inoperability then have someone fix the droids up so that they can torture them some more. And I know some of you, right now, are thinking, "So...? They're droids."

It's important to remember that in Star Wars, droids are sentient. They have self-awareness and value themselves as individuals. This isn't a subject that's ever explored in Star Wars, but it's certainly there in the background. It's actually a parallel line of thought to that of the clones.

Now, most people would probably say it would be wrong to torture clones; they're alive, right? But not everyone believed that. They were, after all, built, so doesn't that make them something like organic machines? "But they can feel pain!" Sure, but so can the droids. "It's not the same!" Why not?

Why not?

Of course, after the Clone War, the making of clones was made illegal. So was the making of droids for combat purposes, though that's barely touched on.

Did you know that science (yeah, I know, for a lot of you, I may as well have just said "magic") is showing us, right now, that dolphins and other marine mammals are self aware? They have names for each other. So, you know, when a dolphin gets caught in a fishing net and pulled out  of the water, some other dolphin out in the ocean is going off to tell the pod, "Samson got caught in a net..." Imagine how you would feel if you found out your neighbor caught and ate your dog.

And some of you are saying, "So what. It's only a dog." Or it's only a dolphin. Or... it's only a black person. Or a Mexican. Or a Muslim. Or a faggot. It's not like they're people, right?



"You don't want to make them angry; they are far from rational."

Clone Wars -- "Nomad Droids" (Ep. 4.6)

-- Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

I never watched the Droids cartoon from the mid-80s, but I feel like I am now. Which may be the point with this and the previous episode. Maybe these are meant as an homage to that series. At least it's just the two episodes.

Which is not to say that this was a bad episode. For an episode centered on the droids, it was quite good, actually. It's just that with the weak start of season four, it's at the trailing end of a series of episodes that don't live up to the quality of the previous three seasons. If this episode had been used as a one-shot between more serious arcs, it could have been a welcome addition of humor.

Still, this episode did manage to make me LOL a number of times. When I say LOL, I mean that literally. Not only does this episode feel like an homage to Droids but also to The Wizard of Oz. And, maybe, Willow. The tiny fairy-like aliens on the first planet R2 and 3PO end up on reminded me a lot of the two brownies from that movie.

Speaking of which, their introduction is handled pretty well. It's very A New Hope with the jawa introduction. Oh, with some Gulliver's Travels thrown in. You know, this episode seems to be an homage to a lot of things as I think about it, and, as I think abut it, I'm appreciating what they did here. I really do wish this episode had had better placement within the series as a whole.

Anyway... What I was trying to say is that the moment when 3PO accidentally knocks R2 over onto the leader (the Wicked Witch character) of the little fairy people and squashes him like a bug made me laugh. Even though I've seen  the episode before, I had evidently forgotten that happened, because I was not expecting that happen. Then the fairies start singing the wicked witch is dead song except with slightly altered words. It was a good moment.

And that's just in the first 10 minutes or so of the episode.

Okay, I think this one is worth watching on its merit as a singular episode. I actually kind of want to go back and watch it again right now just to see if I missed any of the allusions. I'm not going to because I have other things to do, but I want to.


"Please note, whoever you are, my counterpart here is programmed in 47 schools of self defense."

Clone Wars -- "Evil Plans" (Ep. 3.8)

-- A failure in planning is a plan for failure.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

This episode: Padme throws a party!
Which I don't know how I feel about. I'm sure it wasn't intentional, but it seems so sexist to have Padme be throwing a party. A party that just has to be perfect. And she's fretting over it. It seems so cliche.

That's not really what the episode is about, though. It's just an excuse for the droids, R2 and 3PO, to get sent on an errand... so that they can be captured by Cad Bane. Yea! Cad Bane is back! But not really enough in this episode since the action centers around the droids.

The problem here is that Bane is, basically, waiting for the droids so he can capture them, but he had no idea they'd be sent on an errand unaccompanied, so the logic here doesn't work for me.

Nor do I find it believable that R2 just takes off for a droid spa treatment.

[And this is where I got interrupted while writing this and lost my train of thought.]

At any rate, there are a lot of little details like that that don't work if you think about it too hard (or at all), but, still, I liked the episode well enough. I find R2 and 3PO together enjoyable, and there really isn't much of that in Clone Wars. It was a nice diversion that also is setting the groundwork for the next episode.

But that would be telling...

Clone Wars -- "The Zillo Beast" (Ep. 2.18)

-- Choose what is right, not what is easy.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

A good question to ask about the Clone Wars is why the Republic doesn't use EMP devices against the droids. The truth is that they do, sometimes, use those kinds of things. There are some kind of EMP grenades that are used in some episodes, but I have to assume that, in general, the droids have some kind of shielding against EM pulses. Whatever they have, it wasn't enough to guard them against the giant electro-proton bomb the Republic used to wipe out an entire Separatist army in this episode.

The bomb also uncovered an ancient zillo beast...

You know, I'm not even going to try to describe the zillo beast other than to say that this is the Star Wars version of Godzilla, though the two creatures don't look anything alike. Also, the zillo beast has lightsaber-proof scales. Okay, fine. Here's a picture:

So, yeah, plenty of rampaging beast action.

But the core of the story is the conflict between killing or saving the zillo beast. The dugs, whose planet the zillo occupies, want to destroy it. They don't care that it's possibly the last of its kind. Mace Windu wants to save it and relocate it. However, the Republic needs a treaty with the dugs to help in the war, and the dugs withhold their signatures from the deal until the Jedi help to destroy the beast. Palpatine, of course, plays politics with the situation, claiming that the treaty is more important than saving the beast.

It's a good episode, the first of two dealing with the zillo beast. I kept expecting that something would turn up later in the series in relation to this stuff, but I'm not remembering any return to creature at the moment. Maybe if the series had been allowed to keep going? It's hard to say, though, since there were still four seasons in which something could have come up again with the zillo.

Oh, this episode also gives us Mace saying, "I have a bad feeling about this." I think it's the only time we hear that from him. It's a good moment.

Clone Wars -- "Innocents of Ryloth" (Ep. 1.20)

-- The costs of war can never be truly accounted for.

[Remember, you can sign up to join the Clone Wars Project at any time by clicking this link.]

Continuing the Ryloth story, we pick up with Obi-Wan making his ground assault now that Anakin and Ahsoka have broken the blockade. This episode is back to dealing with a moral dilemma, and it's an interesting one, at that.

The Republic is there at Ryloth to liberate the twi'leks. As such, Obi-Wan lets the clones know during their landing that that means not destroying the twi'leks homes and such. That means they can't just bomb the living heck out of the droids. The droids that have built their bases in the twi'lek villages. Oh, and the droids are also using the twi'leks as living shields, the commander droid having calculated that the Jedi would be much less likely to wage an all-out attack against them if they were behind a hostage shield.

Some of the clones are not happy about the situation and think there is too much concern for the "tail-heads," as they call them. They just want to destroy the droids, and they don't really care if the natives get in the way.

To make things more interesting, two of the clones, one of whom really doesn't like the tail-heads, run into a young twi-lek probably orphan while they are on a scouting mission. Or should I say "pick up a young twi'lek"? Either way, it gives the clones (and through them, the audience) a different perspective on what it's like to have your village ravaged by invaders.

The struggle to save the twi'leks without destroying their villages -- and without bringing harm to them -- is an interesting one. It makes me think of all of those epic super hero battles to save the city... in which they destroy the city. Is what you did worthwhile in those cases?

Also, as an aside, the other day my wife and I were talking about education in the South and why it is so poor compared to education in the rest of the US (there are no Southern states in the top 10 ranked states for education and only four in the top 25). One reason is that the South's education system is still suffering the effects of the Civil War. And I don't mean just inaccurate teaching (like the debacle going on in Texas, right now, with the new text book that was released that refers to slaves as "migrant workers") but the fact that the school system has suffered a lag in performance directly tied to the effects of the war. So, if you glance up at the opening quote from this episode, you can see that it's completely true. The lack of adequate education has been a high cost (that can never be measured) for the South.


"I guess we're the best."

Unexpected Applause: "My Killbot Buddy"

I've made no secret of my general dislike of "starting in the middle of the action" as a way to begin stories. Usually, "starting in the middle of the action" is just a cover for a weak beginning (at least "weak" in the eyes of some TV producer (because it's TV where we find this most often used)) and, after starting as near to the climax as possible, we get the inevitable "48 hours earlier." I just hate that. Seriously. Ask my wife. Any show that uses that tactic as a regular opener holds no real credibility for me. [Only very occasionally does this work for me, like that episode of Firefly that opens with Mal naked and stranded. However, if you're about to show me your characters handcuffed to pipe in a room filling with water for the 7th time this season, please, just don't.]

There are ways of starting a story in media res that do work. For instance, A New Hope opens with a prologue scene of of the battle above Tatooine in which Leia is captured and the droids escape to the planet. The actual exposition of the story does not begin until we switch to the introduction of Luke. That kind of thing works. It gives us background while immediately hooking us. Imagine that story starting in the trash compactor, though, and, then, flashing back to the events leading up to that. That would be horrible. Harry Potter opens the same way, by the way, with a prologue of the baby being taken to the Dursleys; the exposition begins when we switch to about to have a birthday Harry. [I think I read somewhere that Rowling actually wrote that first bit as a prologue, but the publisher made her shift it to "chapter one."]

Another way to start a story in the middle of the action is to open with a character who doesn't know what's going on. For whatever reason. Part of the point of these types of stories is to go along with the character and figure out what's happening and why. Rusty Carl does a pretty great job of that in "My Killbot Buddy."

[And, man, that's one killer (no pun intended) cover Rusty whipped up. I think it's my favorite piece by him yet.] Not only does the protagonist wake up with no memory (for very good reason (which, yes, is important (because I hate the whole "oh, let's have our character have amnesia" thing))), but he wakes up as... old. He doesn't remember getting old, and, man, what a shock that would be. Oh, and, yeah, he's the most hated man in the world. How the heck did that happen?

And that's what we have to find out, what our character is trying to figure out. It's an interesting discovery and the story is wide open at the end. Which is not to say that the story doesn't end, because it does. But it ends in the way you would enter an airlock: one door shuts and another one opens. We're in the airlock with this story, so, when the other door opens, you can see that there is a whole world to be explored out there, but Carl doesn't take us through. What lies through that door is only what we can see with our minds.

But I do hope that he comes back to this and gives us more than a peek as to what's on the other side of that door.

This is a good strong "A" of a story, possibly my favorite by Carl, thus far. It has robots. Which is not why, but... well, it has robots.

Han Shot First, But...

As I've been mentioning from time to time, Briane Pagel over at The Best of Everything has been hosting this massive 100 day Star Wars trivia contest. Being Briane, though, he can't be satisfied with just having a massive 100 day trivia contest, he has to make it even more complex than that. Part of that has been writing challenges. Today is the due date for the 3rd writing challenge of the series, and I am dutifully posting mine. I'm not going to give any details about what was required for the contest so as not to give anything away in case you don't know about it. If you want to get in on it, though, you probably can. As long as you can get it posted today. Posting a story is worth 100 points in the trivia contest, and the writer of the best story (as deemed by Briane) will win a $10.00 Amazon gist card, so it's hardly a no-win situation. Especially with only, like, three entries at the moment (to my knowledge). Anyway... Here's mine:

The Other Bounty Hunter of Ord Mantell

“How we doin'?” Han yelled from where he was pinned down behind a bunch of crates. Blaster fire splattered off the other side of the stack, and he ducked down even farther.

“Same as always!” Luke responded from behind his own stack of crates. “At least Leia got the droids to the Falcon!”

“Well, I wish she'd give us some cover fire!”

“Rawr!” Chewbacca roared his agreement as he fired his bowcaster over the tops of the crates.

Han looked up at Chewie, “How many do you think there are?”

The wookie shrugged and let out an uncertain sounding grumble.

“That many, huh?”

“Luke!”

Luke was busy leaning around the corner of his pile of crates blasting away. He suddenly dived forward and rolled up behind another stack of crates a little farther down the docking platform, “What?!”

At that moment, there was a low rumble from the Falcon, the sound of the engines spinning up, and... the sound of them shutting down.

“Han! I thought you said you fixed that!”

“It's not my fault!”

Chewie roared agreement with Luke.

“What?” Han shrugged, standing up to high while doing so and causing another round of blaster fire in his direction. Chewie yanked him down and fired his 'caster around the side of the crates. There was a scream off in the distance.

“Good shot...”

“Chewie!” Luke yelled. “Give me cover fire!”

Chewbacca raised his blaster up over the tops of the crates and started blasting away. Tiny explosions went off in the distance as the bowcaster's powerful bolts pelted down. Luke dashed and dived around two more stacks of crates before answering fire was directed his way.

“Kid's gonna get himself killed...”

“Rawoor...”

“What do you know? That wasn't my fault, either.”

A couple of blaster shots rang off in the distance, then they heard the sound of Luke's lightsaber igniting and a scream.

Chewie let out a low chuckle.

“Shut up. It's just luck.”

Han and Chewie both let loose a few rounds of blaster before Chewie ducked back down to reload his bowcaster.

“Get to the ship. Help Leia get her started up.”

“Raoowr!”

Chewie took off at a loping run while Han opened up with cover fire. There was another scream from the direction that Luke had taken, and Han mumbled, “Hope that was one of the bad guys...” He slumped back down behind the crates.

After waiting several moments, Han peeked around the edge of the boxes. Just as he was taking aim at one of the thugs the bounty hunter had hired, a voice said from behind him, “You're that kid with the Deathmark, ain't ya?”

Han dropped and spun, firing blindly, but a blaster over his shoulder convinced him to raise his hands. He quirked up one side of his mouth into a roguish grin, “You got me...” But the site that met his eyes stole the rest of his words.

Leveling a blaster at him, stood a man in a blazing white, sequined jump suit complete with cape, his hair puffed up on one side. His teeth gleamed as bright as the jump suit, and he answered Han with his own roguish grin. Han had to shield his eyes from the glare off of the suit, though, so he didn't catch the answering grin.

“Hey, there, Son... You shot at me.”

Han gave a little shrug, “You shot first.”

The man jabbed his blaster at Han, “Actually, you shot first. I shot second.”

Han paused, nodded, “Okay... but you snuck up on me.”

“Sorry about that... this, uh, this time hopper doohickey... well, it has a mind of its own.”

“Riiight...”

“Look here, Son,” the man in white said, waving his gun around abstractedly, “I'm just here to help.”

“Then why'd you shoot at me?”

“I told you. Because you shot first.”

A new voice joined in at that point, a rough voice from a very scarred face, “What do we have here?” The scarred face looked over the man in white, “And... what are you?”

Low chuckles erupted from all around, and Han and the other man found that while they'd been talking they'd been surrounded by the bounty hunter of Ord Mantell and his thugs.

The man in white shifted the aim of his blaster to the bounty hunter, Han just kept his hands raised, his own blaster hanging loosely from his fingers, and said, “I'm a bounty hunter same as you. Seems I've caught this fella fair and square.”

The scarred faced bounty hunter laughed, his pointy ears twitching slightly as he did so, “Dressed like that!” The gathered thugs laughed, too. “Are you sure you're not the entertainment? How do expect to sneak up on anyone like that?”

“Hey, ma-an, don't step on my blue suede shoes. I got the drop on this one, didn't I? That was more than you could do.”

The yellow eyes of the bounty hunter shifted quickly to the feet of the man in white, “Your boots are white.”

“I know what color my boots are. Why are we talking about my boots?”

A grimace formed on the slightly snouty countenance of the bounty hunter, “You said they were blue.”

“Ma-an... you ain't nothin' but a hound dog. I didn't say anything about my boots.”

Han opened his mouth to speak, but the man in white said, “You keep your mouth shut there, Son.” Han snapped his jaw shut.

“Look... whatever you are, I'm taking this bounty. I've got you surrounded, but I'm not getting paid for you, just for Solo, so, “and he gestured with his blaster, “if you just put that thing away, we'll let you walk out of here.”

The man in white shifted, causing a thousand little flashes of light off of his suit, “I told you I caught him fair and square.”

“And I'm taking him from you fair and square,” grated out the rather squat bounty hunter.

“See... you're stepping all over my blue suede shoes, and I don't like it when people, or... things..., step on my blue suede shoes.” He shifted again as he gestured at the squat, pointy-eared bounty hunter with the scarred face.

The bounty hunter glanced down at the man-in-white's shoes again.

And that's when a blaster bolt left a hole in his chest.

Before the thugs could respond, more blaster bolts rained down from above and Luke landed in their midst, lightsaber singing. The thugs ran.

Han glanced down at the smoking muzzle of the blaster in the man-in-white's hand, “You shot him.”

The man in white gave that roguish grin, “Yeah, I guess I shot first that time.”

Luke deactivated his lightsaber as Han leveled his blaster at the man in white.

Luke waved Han off, “He's okay, Han.”

Blaster still pointed at the man in white, he said, “I'm just being safe. He said he was here to collect the Deathmark on my head.”

“Hell, Son, I just said that to get you out of this mess you were in. I said I was here to help, didn't I?” To prove his point, he holstered his blaster.

Chewbacca dropped down next to Han and grumbled at him. Han answered, “You're sure?”

“Roowr.”

Looking uncertain, Han put away his own blaster.

Off in the distance, the sound of the Falcon's engines started cycling again. Then the sound of them failing. Followed by them catching and the engine coming to life.

“Hey, there, Son... You better get that looked at.”

Han grimaced, “Thanks...”

“Just trying to help.”

“C'mon, Han, let's go,” Luke said as he held out his hand to the stranger. “Thanks.”

“Anytime... anytime...”

The three companions turned to go, leaving the man in white standing alone. As the rounded the corner of the crates, Han turned back, “Hey... I didn't catch your name.”

“Elvis... but you can call me The King.”

Han gave his sideways grin, “Okay... well, thanks, King.”

“Hey, it was nothing.”

“You're pretty good in a fight... why don't you come with us?”

“Thank you very much... but you ain't seen nothin'. I didn't even get out my karate.”

Han blinked, “What?”

Elvis kicked on foot into the air and made a slashing motion with his right hand, “I have a black belt.”

“Oh... well... thanks again...”

Han walked on around the crates but, then, felt as if he should make the offer one more time and turned back.

Elvis was gone.