Blade Runner 2049 (a movie review post)

Before I get started, this review is going to be full of spoilers. FULL! Seriously. I want to talk about this movie that, really, disappointed me, and I can't do that without talking spoilers. You've been warned.

But let's talk about Blade Runner first, which I reviewed a couple of months ago but didn't go into much detail when I did. I'm about to change that, so, if you haven't seen that movie, either, you might want to skip all of this.

We all know that Blade Runner was a visual masterpiece. It has been considered one of the most influential sci-fi movies of all time. Not as influential as Star Wars, of course, but, if you look at sci-fi movies after Blade Runner compared to before, you can see the difference.

However, it was the visuals that made the movie what it was. It's never just the visuals. The thing that was compelling about the movie, the thing that made it a great movie, was the question... I'll say it like this: What does it mean to be human? Which is actually the summation of many questions: Do I have a soul? Why do I have to die? What happens to me when I die? These are all questions Roy wants answers to.

Not that the movie definitively gives answers to any of these question, which is part of what makes the movie so compelling, but the scene at the end when Roy releases the dove is poignantly symbolic.

Blade Runner 2049 fails at all of the things that made the original so great.

Rather than the gritty realism that was so enticing in the first movie, 2049 is immaculately polished. Even the grit is polished. It's the difference between a box full of rocks and a box full of rocks that have been through a rock tumbler. Sure, they're prettier than a box of rocks, but all of the realism is gone.

Like, all of it. I mean, what the fuck is with the orange landscape with giant statues of naked women in high heels in porn poses? We're supposed to buy that as any sort of realism? And don't give me any "well, it's the future" crap, because that doesn't make the idea of that any more realistic, especially since that place would have to almost already exist so that it could be abandoned for 20-30 years by 2049. And a lot of the movie is like that: "cool" visuals for the sake of being cool but with no anchor to reality or purpose.

Not to mention how full of plot holes the movie is. Let's just talk about my "favorite" one:

Wallace has finally caught Deckard and wants some information from him that Deckard won't give up. Wallace informs Deckard that he will have to take him off-planet to torture him so that he'll talk. Wait, what? He needs to take him off-planet to torture him? What the fuck sense does that make? Wallace has already killed someone in his office, and he wasn't too worried about that. Sure, she was a replicant, but the movie tries to heavily imply that Deckard is, in fact, also a replicant -- though without coming out and saying it (it's like the writer, Hampton Fancher, can't decide if wants Deckard to be a replicant or not and, so, doesn't want to nail it down in case he changes his mind later) -- so what's the big deal about torturing Deckard in a place where, evidently, he routinely commits murder? Or whatever you call killing a replicant. Retiring?

Plus, no one knows Deckard is even still alive. He disappeared 30 or so years prior, so it's not like anyone is going to come looking for him.

The whole scenario is ridiculous and contrived so that Deckard can be put in a position for K to rescue him, something that wouldn't have been possible within the confines of Wallace's headquarters. I hate contrived bullshit that writers use to get themselves out of a hole they've put themselves in.

Other stupid things I'm not going to go into:
The threesome K has with his hologram and a prostitute. Not just that it happened but that it was inserted at a time when K should have been fleeing for his life, but, no, he has time to stop and have sex with a fucking hologram!

The junkyard people who decide to shoot down a police vehicle for no discernible reason and the divine intervention exercised by Wallace's lackey to get K out of it. Literally, K just shrugs off the fact that missiles rain down on his opponents and goes about his business, no questions asked.

The fact that this movie is no more than a bridge to set up for a replicant rebellion story line.

But the worst thing about the movie? It has no questions. There is nothing in this movie to give it any depth or, pardon the pun, soul. Its attempt to come to grips with the question, "Do replicants have souls?" is clumsy at best and results in a miracle-baby-orphan-savior cliche plot. Seriously, that's the best you could come up with, Fancher? It's not like that hasn't been done to death already. The child even has her own scar, of sorts, to mark as special, to mark her as "the one."

When the best sequel you can come up with to one of the greatest sci-fi movies of all time is a cliche, maybe you should leave the original movie to stand alone. It didn't need a sequel. But, then, maybe you needed the money.

Blade Runner revisited (a movie review post)

You know how in just about every cop show these days they do crazy-insane enhancements on photos in order to catch the bad guy? My kids and I were watching something recently and they were doing that, and it occurred to me that that whole thing comes from Blade Runner. As far as I know, that's the first time that was used in a movie like that, and we all know how influential Blade Runner has been. It also occurred to me that only 1/3 of my kids had seen Blade Runner, so we set about fixing that. And, well, it had been a long time since I'd seen it and, with a sequel coming out, it seemed like a good time to watch it.

I chose the original theatrical version to show them 1. because that's the version that had such a huge impact on movies and pop culture, and 2. because it's been so long since I've watched any version that I couldn't really remember what the differences are beyond that some don't have the narration. I happen to like the narration; it gives the movie that film noir detective feel that is one of its appealing aspects to me.

The first thing that became apparent is that the movie has retained its very unique look and feel. It was original 35 years ago when it first came out and, despite the amount of influence it's had on other movies, has rarely had that visual tone duplicated. That's kind of amazing, actually.

Beyond the fact the movie time is now present time and that the movie isn't anything like the present, it holds up remarkably well. And it's still a conceivable future in that none of the things in it have become things we no longer think are possible. In fact, all of the sci-fi things in the movie are on track to one day just being science. Which is kind of scary, still, especially considering the environmental implications in the movie, and we haven't done anything to stop that bit of future from happening, either.

Really, the only piece of the movie that has worn on me is Rutger Hauer. Remember back in the 80s how Hauer was such a big deal after Blade Runner? Well, I do. He was a name... that didn't last. Because he wasn't really a great actor. And that goes for in Blade Runner, too. Granted, some of the issues with his character are a matter of the directing, but I'd be willing to bet that a better actor could have pulled off some of his flubs (like the howling) more believably. Which is not to say he doesn't have his good moments, but he's probably the only real weakness in the film as a whole.

Unless you want to talk about Sean Young and her huge 80s hair, because wow... It should have been listed separately in the credits.

I'd say it's still a movie worth watching with a message that is still just as important now as it ever was. Even though I've read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, watching the movie makes me want to go back and read that again, too. I'm not going to, right now, but I want to, and you have to give credit to an adaptation that makes you want to go back to the source material. Again. And watching it again makes me both hopeful and fearful of Blade Runner 2049...

I definitely think there's more to explore in the world that was created for the first film; I just hope it's good. Harrison Ford said the script for 2049 is the best script he's ever read, but, then, he's the guy who wanted Han Solo to die, so I don't know if his opinion is trustworthy. At least Ridley Scott isn't directing it; he's more miss than hit.