A Deepness in the Sky (a book review post)

Wow, it's been a whole year since I reviewed A Fire Upon the Deep. If you remember back to that book, I said I was only going to read this one if it was better, and it was better, better enough that I wanted to know what happened even though I had some major issues with the book going in. And this one was slow, too, but not quite as slow as Fire. But let's just cut to it...

The first major issue with this book is that it's barely related to the first book in this "trilogy." Vaguely. Like, there's a character... Well, it's like going to a party somewhere and meeting someone who is your very distant relative through marriage. Or, maybe, two marriages. Like, you know, the divorced spouse of your fourth cousin twice removed. That's how related this book is to the first book. They're both set in the same party, um... universe, but there's really no connection other than that.

Which is probably part of why I liked it, because I thought the first book was, for lack of a better word, stupid.

Which is not to say that this book doesn't also have a strong dose of stupid, the main one being a star that turns itself on and off. Yeah, like it has a switch, except that it's on a timer. So for a couple of centuries, it's a faintly glowing dwarf somethingorother, then it will flare to life and burn bright for 50 years or so then go back out. And, somehow, there's life on the planet that orbits the star, highly evolved life, that has adapted to this pattern, something we're not even going to touch, because the problem is the star.

There is no explanation offered for this. It's just some mystery of the universe. Or, maybe, it's an alien artifact. Whatever. We don't care enough to try and find out, and the author doesn't offer any kind of rational explanation for it. Because, you know, physics, and physics doesn't allow for something like this, so the author didn't bother other than that it enabled the plot he wanted.

Look, if you're going to make up some piece of stupid shit like this for your story, you need to at least offer some kind of explanation as to why it exists. Well, unless you're Lewis Carroll and your whole book is full of the absurd.

The next major issue I had was the aliens. There's a problem with aliens in sci-fi and that's that almost always the aliens turn out to be just humans in costumes. Metaphorically speaking. The aliens act like humans, think like humans, pretty much are humans except for the fact that they look some other way, though, frequently, they're also based on bipedal symmetry, just like humans. I have a philosophical difference with this approach to aliens. BECAUSE THEY'RE ALIENS! If they're aliens make them act... I don't know... like... ALIEN! In some way! Make them different other than just cosmetically. Vinge completely fails to do this with his spider creatures.

Look, I get it: Aliens are hard, but at least make the effort. Rather than make the effort, though, Vinge makes excuses and tries to pass it off as the humans (in the book) anthropomorphizing the spiders as they learn about them, and that does work for certain sections of the book BUT there are clearly sections where the humans have no relation to what's going on with the spiders, and the spiders still act just like humans. He barely ever mentions the fact that they extra limbs. It's like they're just hanging around useless... like they would be if it was a human in a spider costume.

For all of that, though, the story was interesting enough to keep me involved, which says a lot about it considering the fact that I came into it with the idea that it needed to do something right away to get me to keep reading it. Mostly, that had to do with the characters, which were much better than the characters in the previous book. I especially liked Sherkaner Underhill; he's probably the reason I kept going at the beginning.

Actually, there are a lot of good and likable characters in this, just don't get too attached to most of them. Vinge is a bit like George RR Martin in that respect. They are all the characters who must die to prove the situation is serious. Or they all could be, and you never know which ones will make it through.

The book is also incredibly topical from a political standpoint, and that part I found very interesting. The political conflicts among the spiders, with their truth-denying conservative faction undermining the more progressive scientific community is somewhat engrossing. It wouldn't have surprised me if dogmatic religious spider had started saying, "Climate change is a hoax." That narrative is definitely worth a look considering the current status of American politics.

But is the book, as a whole, worth reading? I don't know. I would just skip the first one for sure if you think you might be interested in this one. Since this one serves as some kind of "prequel" for the other one in that it happens chronologically first, it might even be better to read this one first. But, really, unless you're just into hard sci-fi, I would give these books a pass. I'm not going on to the third book (but, then, it's the actual sequel to the first book, and I didn't like any of those characters, and I don't care what happens "next").

Last note:
Having said all of that, I do have some ideas about how this book relates to the first book in a more substantial way, but there's no way to verify any of it; it's all speculation on my part and, although it would be neat, it also doesn't matter, not to the story. Maybe if there's ever a fourth book and Vinge pulls all of these threads he's left lying around together, maybe, I'll read that one; otherwise, I don't plan on reading anymore Vinge.

The Wizard of Oz

The Wizard of Oz was never that big a deal to me when I was a kid. Not that I didn't watch the movie every year when it came on TV, but it was never my "thing." No, that was Star Wars. Still, I probably would have read it if I had known it was a book, but no one ever bothered to tell me that. I suppose that's what comes of having non-reading parents. By the time I found out it was a book (probably during high school, certainly not before), I just wasn't interested in it.

This was all sort of like my experience with Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, which was a movie that I loved as a child and still do to this day. But I didn't know it was a book and had never really even heard of Roald Dahl until I was in college, and I had no interest in reading it at that point. That came later after the second movie was made, which I didn't like but the Dahl family did, so I decided that I should probably read the book. And I didn't like it. It just wasn't magical like the movie had been. And I didn't like Charlie and the Glass Elevator, either, despite the high hopes I'd had for it since there was no movie to hold it up against.

Despite all of that, I decided I should give L. Frank Baum a try. If nothing else, I wanted to see what it was like before passing it on to my daughter, especially since she loved the Charlie books despite my dislike for them (which is great; maybe, I would have liked them when I was a kid).

In a certain sense, both Baum and Dahl borrow their style of story-telling from Carroll. As in the Alice stories, crazy things happen to the main character, and that character just goes along with those things as if they are normal. There's no plot as such. For Carroll, this is certainly true. Both Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass just end. It's as if Carroll decided, "I'm though with this now," or, maybe, he just couldn't figure out how to end the story, so Alice wakes up and everything is over. I had that same sense from Glass Elevator. Dahl just got tired of writing or didn't know what to have happen next, so he just had it end. Chocolate Factory did have a bit more plot, but it was still kind of all over the place.

The stuff coming up about The Wizard of Oz will have spoilers. Now, you know. Also, it's kind of impossible to talk about the book and not talk about the movie. Okay, it's not, but I'm going to compare some things in the two mediums.

First:
The book starts out describing how gray Dorothy's life is. Everything is Kansas is gray. The land, the sky, her aunt and uncle. Everything but her little, black dog, and, by extension, Dorothy herself (because there is a heavy implication that Toto is the only reason Dorothy has not become a gray person herself). On the other hand, Oz is full of color and life that Dorothy has never experienced and is amazed by (I'll come back to this).

The movie starts off in black and white, mirroring the tone of the book, and bursts into full technicolor after Dorothy arrives in Oz. I think this is the most amazing thing about the movie and possibly the one thing that has made the movie so beloved for so long. I can't imagine the effect on an audience who had almost exclusively only seen black and white movies.

Second:
The Ruby Slippers. The issue of the shoes is one of  the things I've most heard complained about from people that love the book, wherein the shoes are silver. But, well, I get the desire to make them red for the movie since they were doing the big color shift in Oz, and I think going with the red was the better choice. Visually, it just stands out more. So, no, there was "no good reason" to change the color of the shoes... except that there was, and there is no significance to the shoes being silver in the book except that that was the arbitrary color that Baum chose. Or not really color, because I think he was just going with "silver shoes" to contrast against the "golden cap."

Third:
And speaking of the "golden cap," it's completely missing from the movie, so why not change the slippers to red since there is no golden cap to go with the silver shoes. I get dropping the whole "golden cap" thing from the movie, because that was a plot thread that the movie didn't need. That's just what frequently has to happen when you adapt a book to a movie: you have uncomplicate the book, so leaving the golden cap out of the story makes sense.

Beyond all of that, I liked the book. It has a more careful attention to plot than either Dahl or Carroll put into their stories while keeping the whimsical "you have no idea what might pop up next" quality. Bad things happen to the characters, and, if I hadn't seen the movie, I might have wondered what was going to become of the Scarecrow and the Tin Woodman during Dorothy's captivity. I also like that Dorothy is actually gone from Kansas in the book rather than seemingly just waking up like in the movie.

The book does, however, have one great flaw which keeps me from liking it more: Dorothy has no real motivation to go home to Kansas other than that she ought to want to go home to Kansas. It's clear at the beginning of the book that she doesn't like Kansas. She has no joy there other than her dog, and the dog goes to Oz with her, so, really, there's nothing that ought to make her want to go back, especially since she loves Oz. But she does want to go back, and it is her unwavering desire to go "home," for going home's sake, that drives the story. I found that, along with the lack of growth on Dorothy's part that accompanied that, to be rather inexplicable. Other than to make the story happen, why did Dorothy want to go back to a place she didn't like to people that, as far as we can tell, she had no true emotion for.

And, speaking of the lack of growth on Dorothy's part: Dorothy doesn't grow as a character during the story. She's the same girl going back to Kansas as she was when she got to Oz. However, she does serve as the catalyst for all the other character growth in the novel, which was interesting to watch and not often done, so, whereas I would normally dislike a story where the protagonist is static (see my review of Brave), I found that I didn't mind that so much in Wizard. Well, except that I really did wish she would have realized, "Hey, I don't have to go back to Kansas."

Mostly, though, I found the book most interesting in how it and the movie deviate from one another. I'm not sure I would have enjoyed it so much just all on its own. At least not, now, as an adult. I wish I'd read it when I was a kid, though. However, I found it enjoyable enough (and Baum himself interesting enough) that I want to read more of the Oz books, so, I guess, you can't really ask more from it than that. Making me want to read the next one is its job, right? And it accomplished that. I'll have to wait and see how the rest of the books are.

Being the white rabbit...

Now that I've titled this the way I have, I feel like going into some long thing about Alice and Lewis Carroll, but that really has nothing to do with this post. Carroll was a great imaginer, and I admire that. But he wasn't the greatest story-teller. Of all of his characters, I feel most like the white rabbit. I always have. In fact, I don't really feel any connection to any off the other characters, but I can totally relate to the rabbit. Especially lately. It's like 2012 is the year of the busies. I just want to slow down and get some writing done. I feel so behind...

So I don't really have much of a post today. Mostly just saying "yikes!" I'd like to breathe, now, thank you, but we have at least one more weekend that's going to be all full of stuff. Maybe after that...

A couple of little things though:

1. Briane Pagel has posted his review of The House on the Corner. It includes his famous 10 1/2 question interview, so there may be some tidbits of information that I haven't admitted before. Probably not, but you will get to find out why people in the future wear white jump suits. You can find the interview here.

2. Since we're already talking about Briane, and you're going to go over there and read the interview, anyway, right? (You are, right? because you know you want to know why people in the future wear white jump suits and what, exactly, that has to do with Elvis.) You should sign up for the great Star Wars blogathon! There are still more than 75 questions to go, so, even though I'm in the lead at the moment, it's still anyone's game. Remember, tell him I sent you and get 50 POINTS just for signing up! Here's the link to sign up for the 'thon.

3. We had to attend the third memorial service for a close family member in the last just over a year yesterday. Yesterday's service, in particular, really made me think about what we leave behind. Both the tangible and the intangible. How our lives affect the people around us. I know, back in high school, when I first thought about being a writer, a large part of my desire was to write something that would be remembered. Something that, you know, kids would be hating to have to study hundreds of years in the future. I don't know that I still have such lofty goals but the idea of what we leave behind is a pretty heavy one. It's possible that you should expect an actual post about this sometime soon.

I guess that's it for today. I really am very busy and have to get  onto other things even though I'd rather be writing. I need a bumper sticker that says that... except it would have to go on my butt or my bike since I don't sticker my car.
heh

Unexpected Applause: The Missing Link

In my last post, I interviewed the guys, Bryan and Brandon, from A Beer for the Shower about their new book, The Missing Link.

Okay, so the interview was less about the book and more about them, although we did talk about the book. Now, I'm going to talk about the book. First of all, the Kindle edition is only $0.99, and, at that price, it's an absolute steal. Don't let the cover fool you.

Oh, the cover... I love the cover! Back in the 80s, I used to play Rampage upon occasion, and this cover, which is reminiscent of that game, is totally appropriate for this book. It might look kind of goofy, but, considering the book is about technology and rampaging monsters, it totally works.

The Missing Link is probably not a book for everyone. Not that any book is a book for everyone (although there are two books I think everyone should read), but this book is even less a book for everyone than most books. Mostly, I just think a lot of people won't "get" it. A good test to see if it might be for you is to follow the above link over to their blog and read a few of their posts. If the humor doesn't grab or turns you off, the book is not for you. However, if you find yourself laughing despite yourself, even if you hate yourself afterwards, you should give the book a chance, because it's full of the same humor and crassness as their blog.

The technicals: The front half of the book is marvellously edited with hardly a misplaced comma. Well, except for that pet peeve of mine with commas following a sentence starting conjunction and an independent clause behind. This seems to be a fairly widespread error in comma usage, and I'll browbeat the boys about it later. Other than that, though, the front half of the book is almost squeaky clean. Definitely "A" work, and there were hardly any red marks on their paper when I got finished with that portion. However, the further through the book you go, the more errors crop up. Missing words or mistyped words, like "than" instead of "that." A few incorrect tenses here and there. Unstable formatting, mostly in that the indentations start wobbling back and forth. It's enough to drop the technical grade down into the high "B" range. Still, everything considered, it's a pretty good job and nothing that should give anyone any real problems. Especially the commas. There aren't a whole lot of other people out there that are likely to notice any problems with them.

As for the book, well... I don't like to actually talk about what the books I'm reviewing are about, because you all are quite capable to read that stuff for yourselves. However, I feel compelled this time. Bryan and Brandon give us a look at the chaos that could result from a technological collapse in society. My feeling is that most people looking at the book will think that their take is a bit extreme, outrageous, and over-the-top. I'm not so sure...

Just within the last couple of weeks, I was reading about some problems at some hotel chain or other (I forget which one, and, honestly, it's not important). At two of their hotels (one of them was in Hawaii, the other somewhere on the main land), they had a computer issue which caused all of the guests to be locked out of their rooms for several hours (6-8 or something like that). The hotel uses key card locks, and the computer locked down all the rooms, and no one could open them (this should be a lesson to have manual back-ups available for the staff). Really, this should just be a minor annoyance. Yes, an annoyance, but nothing worthy of violence. Within the first hour (maybe half hour?), police had to be called in because of brawling in the hallways. Widespread brawling. Not, like, just one fist fight. People freaked out and started beating each other up because they couldn't get into their hotel rooms. What the crap? Seriously. What the crap?

So, when violence breaks out in The Missing Link over the loss of the Internet, I can hardly say that the boys have exaggerated.

The characters in the book are largely stereotypes, but they're not the kind of stereotypes that happened because the authors didn't know what they were doing. They're there to give the readers something easy to latch onto, "oh! I know what this character is like!" And, as they said in the interview, they are more caricature than cliche. They're magnified examples of people, but, also, they're there to show us that people are capable of going beyond our stereotypes for them. I'd be hard-pressed to choose a favorite. (Although, I have to admit, I have a lot of empathy for Brent and the blank looks he gets any time he tries to explain anything.) Okay, I'm lying, I love Sir McAffery. Not so much his character within the book, but just the concept of his character. It's genius. And I would say more, but I can't do that without ruining elements of the story.

Also, I love the Alice in Wonderland elements of the story. Admittedly, I was bit put off by it right at first. Molly's experience in going down her laundry chute follows Alice's trip beat for beat, but, as you get into the story and see the analogy at work, it does. Work. And it's a great analogy (as they said in the interview). The Internet is a Wonderland, but it's not a Wonderland that's a paradise. It's insane. Even more insane than Lewis Carroll ever could have imagined. The melding of Carroll's work with other familiar pop culture phenomenon like World of Warcraft and The Wizard of Oz is pretty clever, and I really enjoyed it.

So here's the thing: go over and check out their blog. Do that now. If you like it, buy the book. It's only a buck. It'll make you laugh. Yeah, there are some parts that seem a bit absurd, but, you know, like the deal with the hotel I was mentioning? I'm not so sure that they are. Bryan and Brandon have actually offered up a fairly powerful piece of social commentary, and I think people should really stop and take a look at it. How dependent are you on your iGadget? Is your dependency healthy? Maybe think about spending some time away from it. In fact, put it down right now and go download the book. Oh, wait, you need it to download the book? Curse you Internet!

My grade? I give it an "A-." It's clever. Well told. Interesting. The only thing that drags it down a bit is that they do sort of run a few of the gags a bit too hard. And there are a few redundancies toward the end, but it's just a few. Overall, it's a very enjoyable read with an actual message trapped in there. I'm sure they tried to hide to keep their reputations intact.

Twiddledum loves this!

An Interview Out of the Shower

The boys over at A Beer for the Shower have a new book out. It's called The Missing Link, and it looks like this

(but you can't open it here. You  have to follow the link over to Amazon to do that). In an effort to get to the bottom of what it's all about, I had a small chat with the boys, Bryan and Brandon. Yes, I made them get out of the shower for it; they were getting a little pruny, anyway. I think the coloration was due to the fact that they used up the hot water weeks ago. After waiting for them to sober up a bit, here's what followed:

How did the two of you meet, and how did you discover your mutual desire to write?

Interestingly enough, we've known each other since elementary school. However, neither of us knew the other to be a writer until we brought it up about 5-6 years ago. We'd both always been writers but never really talked about it with anyone. After that, we started critiquing each other's work and eventually decided, just for kicks, to collaborate on a novel. We found that we worked together really well, and the rest is history.

Well, that's pretty cool, then. I guess you know each other pretty well considering how far back you go together. What kind of writing partnership do you have? For example, in the partnership of Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis (who created and wrote Dragonlance among other things), Hickman is sort of the creator and Weis is the writer. I'm not sure how far into plotting Hickman goes, but I do know that he created the world and the characters while Weis did the actual writing. However, in the collaboration of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett on Good Omens, they split up the writing chores so that each one of them wrote particular scenes/characters. Prachett wrote most of the material revolving around the kids while Gaiman wrote the angels. Do you have a particular method?

We don't quite fit any of those pairings. While we do both create our own characters that we tend to gravitate towards initially, the writing is all split up 50/50, and all characters are fair game. We've written together long enough that we can find a unifying "voice" when we're writing, so that characters/descriptions don't sound different from scene to scene. Plus, when you want high quality writing, you quit kissing each other's asses really quick and learn to say, "Look, that scene could have been written better," or "I think that character probably wouldn't do that." If either of us were stubborn or selfish about our writing, I'm sure we'd probably be butting heads constantly. Thankfully, that's never been a problem.

So, if you split it up 50/50, do you plot it all out ahead of time or do you just work on it as you go and see where it takes you? And what was your inspiration for The Missing Link?

When we first started out, writing our first collaborative novel The Dead Don't Play Slots, we shot pretty much from the hip. It was our first time writing together, and most of the time we were just trying to make one another laugh. It was like running through the forest with a blindfold on. It's funny as shit watching the other guy bash his face into trees, but ultimately the story winds up aimless, bloody, and disoriented. Basically, our story structure was horrendous, and yet we still somehow managed to get an offer from a major publishing house on the manuscript. The deal fell through, but we learned to pay a lot more attention to structure. With The Missing Link, we definitely plotted the story out ahead of time. It's still a bit hectic, with our multiple-storyline style, but definitely much improved. We usually do a broad plan for about 1/3 of the novel at a time, and then just fill in the gaps as we go. That way, we have a solid goal, but are able to let the story take whatever turns it needs to without being on a choke collar.

The inspiration for The Missing Link was twofold: Beer and cell phones. We do most of our story idea spit-balling in bars. When we were trying to figure out what to do for our second collaborative novel, I think we just looked around, saw something annoying, and ran with it. Most of our work together is crassly satirical, so we draw our material and characters from whatever social dumbfuckery seems to be ripe for ridicule at the time. 

Okay, before I get into questions about the book, what are each of your favorite books and what would you say are the books that have been the biggest influence, first, on you, and, second, on your writing?

Bryan: I've got 2. What's Eating Gilbert Grape, the first novel that was serious, and touching, but also made me laugh. I think that helped me realize that you can write humor into a novel without having to be like a Dave Barryish, "What's the deal with guys standing next to each other at a urinal, huh?" 

Also, the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. Even today, in the world of 'I can't sell it if it's too unique and doesn't fit a particular genre' (Um, cough, agents) I love that something this strange and this unique, even for a Stephen King book, is so wildly popular. I mean, a cowboy travels through multiple universes and picks up a schizophrenic black woman, an 80s heroin addict, a dead 11 year old boy, and a talking badger as they seek out a big tower. Can you imagine trying to pitch that to a literary agent in this market? You'd probably be laughed at, and yet, look at how well received it was by readers. 

Brandon: That bastard stole The Dark Tower! Alas, I have to say that Stephen King is one of my biggest influences and has been from childhood. In my solo efforts, I write a lot of horror fiction, but I also do a lot of dark fantasy. It would be a three way toss-up for my favorite novel: American Gods by Neil Gaiman, The Shining by Stephen King, and (in the humor realm) A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore.

Hmm... now, I have to admit that I've never read any Stephen King. Not that I've meant to not read Stephen King; I've just never gotten to him. I do see the Dark Tower series pop up on a  lot of lists, though. And, as a total aside, Brandon, have you read Anansi Boys? It's even better than American Gods.
Neither of you mentioned Lewis Carroll, but he was clearly an influence on, at least, part of The Missing Link. How did that come about?

Bryan: We can no longer be friends until you read some Stephen King. Actually, King gets a bad rap for being a generic horror writer, but all of my favorite stories of his have nothing to do with horror. Also, I can assure you that while Lewis Carroll did "influence" the story, it's hardly a flattering comparison. Carroll writes a flowery, goofy tale that is extremely nonsensical and at times hard to follow. This, more than anything, is why we felt it made for a perfect embodiment of the Internet, because we imagine if someone got trapped in the Web, it wouldn't be a happy place full of endless knowledge, it'd be a madhouse full of clashing thoughts, misleading information, and more than anything, nonsense.

Brandon: I have read Anansi Boys and pretty much all of Gaiman's stuff. I liked American Gods because of the depth, seriousness, and Gaiman's unparalleled usage of archetypal mythology. Anansi Boys was really great, too, but was definitely a humor novel. Even if loosely related, for me they existed in two completely separate worlds, as well as genres.

I didn't really get "humor novel" from Anansi Boys, but that's probably a conversation for another time.
I do agree with you about Carroll, though. I always felt the Alice story lacked something because of the lack of a plot. Maybe it was the lack of a plot. From that standpoint, I'd have to agree that it is a great parallel for the internet; it, also, lacks a plot.
Which brings me to "World of Battlecraft." Another confession: I've never played World of Warcraft (I know! I know!); although, I did play EQ2 for a while, so I "got" what's going on there (and really love your idea of trolls. heh). What brought that into your story?
[And I promise I'll get some King at some point. I'm just trying to get through this towering stack of books I already have before delving into an author with a library like his.]

Brandon: As for The World of Battlecraft, that was all Bryan's doing. He's a closet gamer geek.

Bryan: Actually, that would be my wife, whom Molly is based on. And how can you have a book about Internet addiction without online gamers? The two often go hand in hand.

Admittedly, to get the feel for the book, I joined my wife in gaming for a bit... and wow, it's so easy to get caught up in the game and spend a whole day clicking your screen in vengeance as you blow other people up with magic. And, more than that, it's a social experience. It's amazing how many friends she's made just purely in this game, that talk to you and help you out and get mad when you accidentally lure a troll back to your camp and he kills everyone (that happened ONE time).

Closet gamer, huh? I can't imagine there's much light in there to see with.
Sorry... couldn't resist. We'll stay away from my gaming habits for the moment. Especially since they are pretty much restricted to Farmville and have been for a few years, now. 

Looking at your views on Gaiman and Carroll, how comfortable are you with "The Missing Link is like Good Omens meets Alice in Wonderland"?
Also, have you had to deal with any criticism about dealing in stereotypes?

Hah, I'd never really thought of it that way before. I don't know if I'd ever be comfortable comparing anything of mine to Neil Gaiman's. It might even be a smiteable offense. Not going to risk it.

We haven't really met with much criticism about dealing in stereotypes, either in the book or the blog. In the novel, I do feel like our characters are much more "caricatures" than "characters," but that's something we did intentionally. The stereotypes are definitely obvious, and we use them to not only deliver jokes, but to exaggerate the fundamental in our own warped version of satire.

Knowing that you guys have been seeking traditional publishing for a while, now, how do you feel about going the non-traditional route?

Well, there's always this stigma that you're "going it alone." You don't have a big multi-million dollar corporation backing you; all you have is yourself. But is that really so terrifying?

Firstly, what DO you get when you have a multi-million dollar corporation backing you? From what I've heard, most authors are still responsible for marketing themselves. I mean, I'm not going to drop any names, but we have a few friends who are authors under big publishing companies that are selling fewer books than we are, simply because the publishing companies are doing nothing to promote them. Without bragging too much, we'd like to think we've done a pretty good job of promoting ourselves through our site, and that steady readership is really helping to get our book out there.

Secondly, all we were doing, while waiting for traditional publishing, was exactly that--waiting. Days to hear back from queries. Weeks to hear back from samples. Months to hear back from full manuscript reads. I could go on, but you've heard our horror stories. Now--no more waiting. Our book is out there getting read, and by going through Amazon, all rights remain ours should a traditional publisher see what we're doing, see our potential, and express interest.

I have to emphasize that we are NOT against traditional publishers. I'm preparing to show my whiteness here, but it's like the old rap adage, "Don't hate the player, hate the game." The problem isn't the people. It's just the way things are done, and we're finding our way around that

For example, almost every rejection we've gotten from agents stated, "I loved this book, it was funny and well written, and it was a really hard decision, but I think it would be too hard to market, so I have to pass." So instead, we're doing the marketing ourselves and showing them it CAN be sold. Again, it's nothing to stop the presses about, but in our current state we're selling consistently higher numbers than small name authors working directly under the Big Six of publishing, so we have to be doing something right. And once we can snowball some momentum and get a solid, respectable sales number, I think we'll have some serious leverage in the publishing world.

I'm not sure that I'm not against traditional publishers, at this point. I think they need to change their game, and, until they show us they're willing to do that, I'm kind of just against them. Which is not to say that I would turn down an offer, because, frankly, we could use the money. However, it would have to be a lot of money. But I digress...
This next question is kind of obligatory, but that's not why I'm asking it. I'm asking it because I'm curious as to how the two of will answer it in particular. So, yeah, I want an answer from each of you:
Boiling down all of your experience with writing so far, what is your best single piece of advice to writers?
Actually, let me split that up:
What is your best writing advice (just to help people get the writing accomplished)?
What is your best publishing advice (for once people have a manuscript they feel is ready)?

Bryan: So I have one answer for both of those: write for yourself. It sounds simple, and it sounds stupid, but I see so many people look at an agent's website: "Currently looking for: a dark YA fantasy about werewolves with a touch of humor." And then they say, "Okay, maybe if I want to be sold by an agent I should write that!" Ummm, no, that's not what you want to write, that's what an agent wants written. Instead of catering to agents, write a novel for yourself, and then find the agent most likely to want your type of novel. Imagine spending a year writing a novel you're not 100% into, and then sending it to said agent, just for them to say, "Oh, I don't want that anymore! Now I want a romantic epic fantasy where the main character is a 20-something woman." When it comes to what's "hot," agents change their minds like they change their underwear... which, if they're like me, is at least once a month.

Brandon: Bouncing off what Bryan said, I agree that you have to write from the heart. If you try to write to some kind formula, or better yet borrow and butcher previously successful story ideas, it always shows through in the reading. You have to write for you and not for the prospect of future fame. Being unique and bold is what caught the attention of agents and editors for us in the past. To answer the first part of the question, all I can say is you have to establish a writing routine. Plant your ass in the chair. Type. Rinse. Repeat. The more often you write, the easier it becomes to stay in routine. And the longer you go procrastinating, the harder it is to start again. I think I first heard that in Stephen King's On Writing, which even if you're not a fan of his work, is by far the best motivational book on the craft that I've ever read.

Yeah, I keep hearing that about the King book, but, from everything I've read about the way King writes, it's not the way I write, so that has made me less inclined to read it. Maybe, when I'm finished with my current projects, I'll take a look at it.
Let's flip that last question around:
Of writing advice that you see on blogs or in articles or in books or wherever, what is the thing that bothers you the most? The thing that makes you say, "That's stupid!" or "How could anyone listen to that garbage?"

Bryan:  Probably what makes me cringe the most are these two things:

1) "That sounds great!" (when it clearly doesn't). 

You don't have to tell someone "you suck," but if their writing needs work, you aren't doing them any favors by giving them the idea that it's perfect as it is. Don't be afraid to critique. Just say it nicely. And on the other side of that, as a writer, if you ask, "What do you think?" and someone says, "It's good, but you could use a little work with ____," don't get your panties in a twist. You asked for advice, so take it graciously.

2) "Oh, just keep trying, you'll sell it eventually!"

Now before everyone gets out their pitchforks, let me elaborate--in most writing circles, there's a guy who's "been working" on a novel for 5-8 years. It's long, it's been edited 400+ times, and no agent will touch it, so he keeps rewriting it constantly. And yet, rather than try and work on something new, he keeps beating this dead horse until he's all worn out on writing and gives up completely. 

I say don't be afraid to move on to another project if you've given your current project a valiant effort and it doesn't work out. Hell, with a novel I'd been working on for 3 years, I was almost on the verge of becoming "that guy," but one day I decided to sit down, write something completely different, and it landed me a huge agent. Only after was I able to see that the original project I was tangling myself up in wasn't right for me at that moment, and really, I was just scared of 'trying something different.' Change is good. And hey, if it IS a genuinely good story, just save it for when you're published. Then you can dig it up and give it the readership it deserves, with your name standing behind it.

Brandon: I once heard a Creative Writing professor profess that "editing is vastly more important than writing." The point she was trying to make was that no matter how bad something may seem after you've written it, it can always be made better with careful, laborious editing. This isn't so. Editing is hugely important, to be sure. But, no matter how much wax and upper arm strength you have, you just can't polish a turd. Some writing is just plain bad. I think there comes a point where, like Bryan said above, revision becomes an exercise in futility. If you have to spend five times as long giving a chapter a facelift than you did writing it, you're addressing the wrong problem. You need to work on being able to convey your thoughts more clearly, not hatchet a piece to death until it no longer has a natural voice.

Yeah, I think sentences, paragraphs, chapters can be made better through editing, but you can't edit a bad story into goodness. When you start "editing" the story, it's no longer that story but some new story you're turning it into. I do have to say, though, as much as you are correct about knowing when to move on, I also get really tired of seeing people that write something, send out a few queries, get rejected, and immediately toss it. If that's all the faith you have in your work, you'll never have any success.
To wrap things up (before I get on to my review), what is the work you are most proud of, both individually and collectively?

Brandon: Individually, I'm not too keen on the solo novels I've produced thus far. I think it will be in my will to burn those after I die. However, I'm pretty proud of (most of) my short stories and novellas, of which I've done about 60. They're mostly all horror, and I kind of miss writing that stuff. I don't know if I'll do much horror in the future, since my currently developing solo novels are all semi-humorous satire. Collaboratively, Bryan and I have written a lot of stuff together, but I'm most proud of our current work-in-progress, titled The Dead Don't Play Slots. Our overall writing is much better than in The Missing Link. Not to say that TML is bad, it's just that as a writer you never stop learning and honing the craft. Practice makes perfect practice, or something like that.

Bryan: I'll definitely agree that The Dead Don't Play Slots is my favorite collaborative story, which is saying a lot because I love The Missing Link. The Dead Don't Play Slots was picked up by Random House, for God's sake (until our deal fell through), so that has to say something. As for individual writing, the project I'm most proud of is Demetri and the Banana Flavored Rocketship.

Fun story: when I first pitched it to the high-profile agent that picked it up and later screwed me over, the story was only 1/3 done. But he wanted it now now now, so I lied and said, yes, sure, it's done... I just need to "clean it up" a bit. Then I went home, locked myself in my room like a hermit, and wrote the entire thing in a week and a half. And it ended up landing me that agent. I think I'm proud not only of the story, but that the whole project snapped together so seamlessly that even writing it in 1 and a half weeks wasn't just 'slapping' it together. It's all high quality writing from start to finish. So take that, NaNoWriMo! (Note: I do not recommend writing entire novels in a week. This was just a very extreme case)

Is The Dead Don't Play Slots something we should expect to see on the horizon any time soon? And, Brandon, what about a collection of your horror stories? Bryan, I'm not even going to ask about why anyone would know the flavor of a rocketship; is that one available anywhere so I can find out?

Brandon: At this point, we're in the process of building something that's going to shake up the publishing world, hopefully in a big way. Can't comment on it much more, at the moment. Meanwhile, we're both trying to juggle a lot of projects right now. Hopefully, The Dead Don't Play Slots will be release ready in a few months. I have short stories in print journals like Crow Toes Quarterly and The Foliate Oak, and in e-journals like Ray Gun Revival, but haven't put much thought into releasing collections any time soon. Honestly, I don't think the quality is consistent enough for pro-level publication, so I'll probably hold off for a while.

Bryan: The title is actually based on the main character, who is a failed (and very terrible) children's author. The book is also, unfortunately, unreleased, and since we don't want to release too many books at once, will remain unreleased for now. But I definitely want to put it out there at some point. If you enjoy my strange sense of humor, you'd like this one. It's basically a love story between a man and a blowup doll, and while on the surface it sounds like a ridiculous gag for a plot, it's actually a sweet story with a lot of heart, and yes, it actually did make my agent cry. And when I think of how much my agent screwed me over on this book, I cry too.

Well, Bryan, I think you know that I like your sense of humor. It's why I read your blog and am enjoying my read of The Missing Link. I'm just sort of assuming that y'all have a similar sense of humor, or does that all come from Bryan?

Bryan: We both definitely share the same sense of humor, however I'd probably say that Brandon's gravitates a bit more toward the clever and mine is a bit more of the random, out-there, nerdy type of humor (like the great Sir McAffery). But I think it meshes well.

Before I get into the review of the book, I do want to say that I love the character concept of Sir McAffery. Especially him being modeled on the klutzy knight from Through the Looking Glass. That's just awesome. So... any last words before I get out my red pen and grade your term paper?

Before you whip out the red pen, we only have this to say: I have years of practice turning an F into an oddly shaped A, so I can re-word anything you say into my favor.

Example: "This is not well written! I would rather take a blast from a shotgun directly into my face than ever read their writing again."

Andrew Leon of Strange Pegs calls The Missing Link: "...Well written!" And "...A blast!"

[Note: There is a review to go along with this; however, the interview is rather longer than I realized (since we did it over days, and it didn't seem so long when we did it), so I'm going to save the review for the next post. That should be up tomorrow or Thursday depending on how things go. I hope you all enjoyed the interview. It was a lot of fun to do, and I enjoyed chatting with these guys. Hopefully, next time, I can get them to wear actual clothes instead of sitting around in damp towels dripping all over the furniture.

Thanks, Guys!]