Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Vampires: Day 3 -- How To Be... a Vampire

Back in April, as part of the A to Z challenge, I did a post on how to be a werewolf; that post has gone on to be my most viewed post ever. The post was almost about how to be a vampire, but I figured that was just too done and, then, there's the whole thing where I'm not such a huge vampire fan and all, so I decided on werewolves. However, now, six months later, as a follow up to A to Z, here's how to be... a vampire!

Vampires and werewolves have a lot of associated legends and mythologies. In fact, in some places the name for the two things used to be the same. This is not as odd as it sounds as one of the best ways to become a vampire is to start out being a werewolf. Wait, what? No, seriously. According to many legends, if you die as a werewolf (which can be more difficult than it sounds, since it's relatively easy (in some legends) to change someone back to human (sometimes accomplished just by saying the person's name (see the post))) and are not disposed of properly, you will come back as an undead that needs blood to survive, so a vampire. However, you would retain your ability to change into a wolf, which is related to so many of the legends dealing with the associations between wolves and vampires.

Interestingly enough, all of the vampire legends begin with blood-drinking demons. These go back thousands of years, and, sorry, but I don't think there's anything you can do to become a demon. The earliest vampire legends, which don't even go back 1000 years, all have to do with demonic possession, usually after you were dead. For instance, if you had a wound that was not cleansed with boiling water and you died, you could come back as a vampire. In fact, for a while, people thought just about anything could cause your corpse to become possessed by a blood-drinking demonic spirit and come back and ravage the local village. Corpses were often buried face down because of this. That way, when they tried to dig to the surface, they'd go the wrong way. Crafty, huh?

And, as an aside, many (unrelated) cultures believed these undead had a thing for counting. The Chinese would bury the dead with a bag of rice so that when the vampire awoke, it would compulsively count the grains before attempting to rise. Other cultures used sand. That whole Count von Count thing?
Totally true.
Anyway...

Most of our modern views of vampires didn't come about until the 19th century. And most of those grew out of one book: Dracula by Bram Stoker.
The conversion to a vampire, as soon by Stoker, happened by being fed upon over time. Dracula feeds on Lucy over a sustained period until she dies and, then, comes back as a vampire. The same was happening to Mina and, even, Harker. The idea of needing to share the vampire's blood was not actually part of the transformation process; however, it did allow the vampire telepathic control over the victim. We've incorporated both of those ideas into our modern view of vampires.

The sustained feeding idea has also given rise to the idea of it being a pathology. A disease that you catch. So we have three basic views on vampirism: spiritual, mystical, and physical, which give rise to different variations on how to become a vampire based upon which view you hold.

In short, you have three options:
1. You have no control. Your dead body becomes possessed by a blood-sucking demon. Possibly, you can help that to happen by having uncleaned wounds that you die of, but it's no guarantee.
2. You have some control. Become a werewolf. Try to make sure that you die while still a werewolf and hope that no one disposes of your body in a way as to keep you from returning as the undead.
3. You might have some control. First, you have to meet a vampire. This could be difficult as they don't go around handing out business cards. If you find a vampire, convince him/her to turn you into one, too. Mostly, this is going to involve the vampire biting you. You will just have to trust the vampire to do whatever needs to be done to make you into one.

Also, you could learn the special math formula from Briane Pagel's excellent novelette, "Augurs of Distant Shadow," currently found exclusively in "Shadow Spinner: Collection 2: The Man with No Eyes (Parts 6 - 12)."
Oh, no, wait; I deleted the formulas so that no one else could become a vampire, but you should still read the story! And Shadow Spinner, too!

21 comments:

  1. Wow! LOVE! I learned so much! Now I have to go read the other parts. Thank you so much for writing this, despite the fact that you aren't a fan of vampires!

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  2. And should you find yourself sparkling, just kill yourself now and be spared the misery. Ours as well as yours.

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  3. Oh, I'm totally bookmarking this for later. First I have to grow a beard for Noshember, but after that I'm completely free to become a vampire. Thanks!!

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  4. I've tasted blood a couple of times and it's not that great. I'll stick to pizza, French fries, and chocolate.

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  5. LOL! Hey, as long as there's no sparkling involved, I'm all one board. =)

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  6. One of my favorite posts. I gotta say though, burying someone face down will only work if the vamp gets so disoriented that they can't tell which way gravity pulls.

    The counting thing is awesome though. I read a book once that had the vamps go into seizures when seeing right angles due to some byproduct of their OCD. The counting thing makes sense now. Yay.

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  7. Konstanz: Oh, no problem. The history is interesting. And it's only the modern, broody presentation of vampires that I don't like.

    Alex: Hey, no sparkling for me.

    L.G.: As long as you stay in Colorado.

    GP: I'm just not going to ask.

    Crystal: I think I'll skip the blood sucking, sparkly or not.

    Rusty: Evidently, vampires don't have a good sense of gravity; they just go in whatever direction they're pointed.

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  8. I really enjoyed your A-Z series. I'm delighted to see an extension.

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  9. TAS: It was actually pretty fun. And, surprisingly, fascinating. (You should see what I left out!)

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  10. Did you see the recent article about a "vampire graveyard" being found? Their heads had been severed and they were weighted down. Interesting stuff. I can see people thinking someone had died during a nasty fever due to infection then having them act normally once they came to (or were still in the depths of the fever). There are a lot of illnesses that would have been scary if you didn't know what was going on.

    And if I have to do math to become a vampire, no thank you! Oh, wait, I don't want to be one anyway. I was recently amused in thinking about your werewolf post, though, because there's a local horror author that jokes he used to try to become a werewolf when he was younger, and he specifically mentioned looking for wolf prints in the hopes he could drink water from them.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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  11. A timely topic indeed. Interestly to gain this knowledge. I personally have no interest in becoming any of those critters, but it's interesting to think about.

    I'm intrigued by the story ideas I've heard--I don't recall where I've heard this--but where vampirism is a disease or something that takes epidemic proportions. I like the tie in as a disease that becomes difficult to control.

    Lee
    A Faraway View

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  12. I'm a little freaked out about the counting thing. How did Sesame Street know this? WHY? Things seem so much darker now...

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  13. Wow, I haven't heard of a lot of these things (I guess I'm not up on my vampire mythology). Would you be called a WerePire? A Vamwolf? Either way, there must be a book out there somewhere with this premise.

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  14. Shannon: I did not see that, but it goes along with some of the other research I've been doing, including vampires being blamed for consumption and all sorts of other things.

    That's hilarious about the author.

    Lee: The Blade series (and some other movies) have used it as a contagion.

    RG: I don't know how they knew. I mean, it may have been coincidence, but what a weird coincidence if it was.

    Jeanne: I haven't heard of any. Maybe it's just waiting to be written.

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  15. So, to be extra sure, you could do all three? This would all be assuming you WANT to be a vampire...which I don't. I don't even want to meet one. However, and you knew I'd love this, the whole counting thing just totally tickles me to pieces, and the fact that Sesame Street used is really rather creepy...
    Tina @ Life is Good

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  16. Tina: No, I don't think you could actually do all three. I suppose you could be a werewolf and have a vampire turn you without having to die to do it, but, mostly, the things don't work well together.

    I hope it's something they did consciously on Sesame Street rather than just having it be because he's a Count; that would be cool. And creepy.

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  17. Hello,
    My name is Mrs. Belli Smith and am here to share a precious testimony on how I was TURN INTO A PURE VAMPIRE and I am now a new person.
    About 3weeks ago I was so board at my self, all i ever wanted was turn into a vampire and live a life my chocies, i search on google one day "i want to become a vampire" the i saw a post by DR. Olodumare a spiritual witch doctor saying "turn into a full and pure vampire to day" i saw his contact email Orikiolodumarespelltemple@gmail.com and i contacted him.
    I did all he asked me to do, he casted a powerful spell and cast in me the spirit of vampire and in not less than 4hurs from when he casted the vampire into me i was I was totaly delivered from my vampirism and I now behave normal and do things that please me and humanity. completly turned into a vampire. i love it and am so greateful.
    All my thanks to him, who has helped me turn into VAMPIRE.

    IF YOU WANT TO BECOME A VAMPIRE PLASE CONTACTHIS EMAIL ADDRESS :Orikiolodumarespelltemple@gmail.com.


    HE WILL HELP YOU. HE IS KIND AND LOVING.


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  18. Hello,
    My name is Mrs. Belli Smith and am here to share a precious testimony on how I was TURN INTO A PURE VAMPIRE and I am now a new person.
    About 3weeks ago I was so board at my self, all i ever wanted was turn into a vampire and live a life my chocies, i search on google one day "i want to become a vampire" the i saw a post by DR. Olodumare a spiritual witch doctor saying "turn into a full and pure vampire to day" i saw his contact email Orikiolodumarespelltemple@gmail.com and i contacted him.
    I did all he asked me to do, he casted a powerful spell and cast in me the spirit of vampire and in not less than 4hurs from when he casted the vampire into me i was I was totaly delivered from my vampirism and I now behave normal and do things that please me and humanity. completly turned into a vampire. i love it and am so greateful.
    All my thanks to him, who has helped me turn into VAMPIRE.

    IF YOU WANT TO BECOME A VAMPIRE PLASE CONTACTHIS EMAIL ADDRESS :Orikiolodumarespelltemple@gmail.com.


    HE WILL HELP YOU. HE IS KIND AND LOVING.


    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Everyone,This was how me and my BF become VAMPIRES i got a guy from the internet called Mr Marc who was a VAMPIRE so i told him that me and my boyfriend would love to become VAMPIRES so he asked me of my Name ,Country, Age ,State , address and asked me to pay the sum of $250 to send me his blood which i did immediately and in the next 3 days i got the blood sample through the DHL which me and my boyfriend took in the blood into your body and in the next 30 minutes i turned into a VAMPIRE so if you interested in becoming a VAMPIRE kindly contact his email address today (JANEASHLEY333@GMAIL.COM)he also has a friend who is a warewolf just incase you want to be one okay...JANEASHLEY333@GMAIL.COM

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  20. Hi Everyone,This was how me and my Boyfriend became VAMPIRES. I got a guy from the internet called Mr. Smith who was a VAMPIRE so i told him that me and my boyfriend would love to become VAMPIRES so he asked me of my Name ,Country, Age ,State , address and asked me to pay the sum of $750 to send me his blood which i did immediately and in the next 3 days i got the blood sample through the DHL which me and my boyfriend took in the blood into our body and in the next 30 minutes we turned into a VAMPIRE so if you are interested in becoming a VAMPIRE. FISRT: Vampires is not at all like in the movies or books, Sure. I understand. You are young; you have the whole world open to you. You can be anything that you choose if you apply yourself and try hard to work toward that goal. But being a vampire is not what it seems like. It’s a life full of good, and amazing things. We are as human as you are.. It’s not what you are that counts, but how you choose to be. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity? contact the vampires creed today via email: vampires.evilspirit@gmail.com

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  21. My name is Conrad Eve, my family and i live together live in USA. It was after seven years i got to discover that my Husband was unfaithful to me. I didn't know what was going on at first but as he got deep in the affair with his new lover, i felt that our marriage was on the rocks. I notice that he no longer light up when i touch him or kiss him in his neck and his chest cos he really liked it when i did that, he also usually get naked in front of me but when he started seeing that woman he stopped it. I remember asking him if i have done anything that makes him feel irritated when i am around him then he gives silly excuses that he has been feeling stressed up and that he need space for a while. I know when you are been asked for space its usually because there is something fishy going on. I hired a private investigator to help find out what was going on. And in a week time he brought me prove that my Husband that i have lived with for seven straight year is cheating on me with his high school lover. I had picture of him walking out a of a restaurant with her and many other photo of them kissing in public like he will never be caught by someone that knows he is my Husband. I asked myself, even when we had a daughter together he could do this to me. That same night i showed him the pictures that i got from my private investigator. He didn't look at it before saying, that he is seeing someone and he know that i just found out about it. Then he said that he is in love with her. At that moment, i didn't know if to kill myself or to kill him but the button line is that if i was going to kill anyone it was going to be me because i was so much in love with him to even think of thinking to hurt him. As time goes on he asked for a divorce and got it and i got custody of our daughter and i weep everyday seeing my daughter with out being around her daddy. I just couldn't get my mind off my Husband and all i could think about was getting him back and live as every family should. For a year i tried all i could to get him back with the help of my seven year old daughter. Even at that all effect was in vain, i used the help of his friend but turned out all bad. I know most people don't believe in spell casting but believe me this was my last option and the result i most say was impressive. And i know it difficult to believe but A SPELL CASTER Dr okosodo really made my life much better because he gave me my family back. He didn't ask me to pay for what he did for me all i was to do, was to provide the materials for the spell and i should believe that he had the power to help me. Like he said, he was going to do something that will make him reset his love and affection for me just as it has always been. My Husband told me he woke up and realized that he should have never left me that i am all he needs.To make thing clear, his life with his high school lover was great before Dr okosodo cast the spell, they had no disagreement on anything. My Husband said it himself that why he broke up with her is something he can not explain just that he woke up on the same bed with her after a very romantic night saying he is breaking up with her for no reason at all. Only Dr okosodo can do such a thing, contact him to solve your problem with his email dr.okosodo@yahoo.com

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