tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post7110544979743235773..comments2023-09-29T05:32:04.308-07:00Comments on StrangePegs: When Everyone's Special...Andrew Leonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13964775673414653644noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-60791009981922135852012-06-09T15:15:47.677-07:002012-06-09T15:15:47.677-07:00Shannon: Virtually all the parents I've known ...Shannon: Virtually all the parents I've known through the years in connection to my kids' school have been these overly protective parents. It's pretty horrible.Andrew Leonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964775673414653644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-28362122410558981512012-06-07T23:31:49.846-07:002012-06-07T23:31:49.846-07:00Interesting. I've noticed this awful trend, o...Interesting. I've noticed this awful trend, of course, but hadn't read anything on the reasons why. Interestingly enough, in my parents' house this has hit only one of us. I need to sit down and analyze what was different with my oldest brother. I let my kids fail. I help them pick themselves up afterwards, but I let them learn. It's a great disservice to these kids who aren't allowed to fail at something. Each person is good at something, so there is absolutely no reason to make them believe they are good at something they aren't. That doesn't allow them to go out and find that thing they ARE actually good at, to develop it properly. And what will our work force be like with a bunch of useless people with the thought process that the world owes them and should take care of them?<br /><br />Yeesh, I could go on and on, but this is a comment, not a blog post!Shannon Lawrencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00934641808195675935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-79715666396295627272012-06-06T15:37:04.008-07:002012-06-06T15:37:04.008-07:00L.G.: Well, you know, that staying at home till 30...L.G.: Well, you know, that staying at home till 30 is more and more common, too, in part because parents aren't really giving their kids the skills to be independent.<br /><br />Lauren: Yeah, there's a definitely a part that equates "all men are created equal" to "all men are equal," which just isn't true. But that's probably a separate post.<br /><br />Alex: Yeah... I know all these parents at my kids' school that over-facilitate their kids' homework; as in, they sit down with them and help them with all of it all the time. It's just bad.Andrew Leonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964775673414653644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-70420279595233139982012-06-06T14:47:38.361-07:002012-06-06T14:47:38.361-07:00Agree one hundred percent! Never allowing losers d...Agree one hundred percent! Never allowing losers doesn't teach kids anything. It only makes them less prepared for when they get out in the real world and the harsh reality is there are winners and losers. You're right, when everyone is special, no one is special.Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-24460915383226676942012-06-06T13:57:25.364-07:002012-06-06T13:57:25.364-07:00What a thought-provoking post, Andrew.
I think pa...What a thought-provoking post, Andrew.<br /><br />I think part of the 'everyone's a winner' mentality comes from our egalitarian mindset. We want everyone to be equal. But you can't be both equal and free. If you give people freedom, you give them the freedom to rise above others. It's natural. (Heh, it's how capitalism works)<br /><br />But you're right, if there are no loser, there're no winners. Everyone's got to be a loser at something. It's admitting it and moving on that makes you the winner.Laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15292139796803739003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-54648285502976404412012-06-06T11:36:41.443-07:002012-06-06T11:36:41.443-07:00Yep, I see this generation difference too. Both my...Yep, I see this generation difference too. Both my parents worked when I was a kid, and I was either sent to daycare or was on my own at home after school. I walked everywhere on my own. <br /><br />When I had my son I chose to stay home, and I was crazy over-protective of him when he was little. I'm better now about letting him be on his own, but it's still a little scary for me to let go. He's, uh, fifteen now, by the way, and I finally let him out of my sight. God, I hope he doesn't end up living at home when he's thirty. :)<br /><br />Also, I do agree that at times there's an effort or attitude that seeks to equate all writers, which is great for friendship, but probably isn't very realistic or honest in the long run.Luanne G. Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15762881276976395955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-85992040735121396252012-06-06T10:32:48.029-07:002012-06-06T10:32:48.029-07:00Sam: It's something that really bothers me, an...Sam: It's something that really bothers me, and it bothers me that teachers play into that whole thing. Not because they're worried so much about hurting a student's feelings but because they don't want to deal with the parents when it happens.<br /><br />Rusty: It does change in high school, but it does a great disservice to the kids that play in these leagues but don't go on to high school sports. There's this idea that quality doesn't matter, because no one can lose.<br /><br />L.: Sure, everyone should hang onto their self worth and their own specialness, but they should be striving to make themselves better not getting upset because someone says "you're not as special as you think you are."<br /><br />Grumpy: I need to read that story. Really, I just need to pick up some more Vonnegut.<br /><br />Jericha: Yeah, we've had, probably, more than our share of death in our family over the past couple of years, and it can be hard for kids to come to grips with it, but I think it's better in the end. Don't lie to your kids and tell them something is good enough when it's not. Push kids (people) to excel rather than allowing them to think whatever it is they've done is good enough (when it obviously isn't).Andrew Leonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964775673414653644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-57203297926568687542012-06-06T09:04:58.174-07:002012-06-06T09:04:58.174-07:00Thanks for this, Andrew. Sure, reality bites. But ...Thanks for this, Andrew. Sure, reality bites. But what I don't understand is how people think they can somehow magically protect kids from EVER LEARNING THAT. Because, um, people die, and stuff. I'm not saying we should teach that stupid stiff-upper-lip shit any more, either - I'm a fan of being totally honest with kids about what is cool and awesome about life and what is really awful and unfair. Because life has both things. And kids know that. It's idiotic adults who try and convince them that they're "speshul snowflakes" - most of the time, I think, genuine encouragement when your kid (or, hell, your friend, or spouse!)is excited about something and honest sympathy when shit doesn't work out is the best help we can give and lesson we can teach. I mean, what the hell do I know. But it's worked for me.jerichashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14313710420089008960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-31634935078485347702012-06-06T05:31:31.794-07:002012-06-06T05:31:31.794-07:00I was on a championship basketball team in 5th gra...I was on a championship basketball team in 5th grade mostly because my dad was the coach. I think I played maybe two minutes all year and I doubt I ever took a shot. Which was fine with me because I hated basketball. Baseball was more fun though I wasn't great at that either. I did slightly better at softball though my brother had an unfair advantage at that because he's left-handed and the right field fence on our field was at probably 100-150 feet whereas the left field fence was probably like 500 feet or something. So basically lefties were really special because they had a really short porch there.<br /><br />Anyway, Kurt Vonnegut in some of his stories like "The Sirens of Titan" depicted societies where everyone was equal because everyone would have a "handicap" to make them less good. So if someone was really fast they'd wear a bunch of weights or something like that.PT Dillowayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09394481476862013009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-43176179085099736092012-06-06T04:45:15.392-07:002012-06-06T04:45:15.392-07:00>Everyone can't be special, because when ev...>Everyone can't be special, because when everyone's special, no one is.<br /><br />True. But coming to grips with your own mediocrity isn't easy. <br /><br />I can't find it in me to blame people who fight to define themselves as good at something. <br /><br />They shouldn't try to drag everyone down to same-ness, I agree. But hanging on to a shred of "speshul snowflake"-ness in a sea of ordinary? It's hanging onto your sense of self, on some level.blankenship.louisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05541461775158369620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-65493883534854818802012-06-06T04:19:42.799-07:002012-06-06T04:19:42.799-07:00Yeah, my kid played in a basketball league when he...Yeah, my kid played in a basketball league when he was pretty young, third grade I think. His team, which had one incredible player, then my son, who was competent, and a bunch of typical kids who couldn't dribble or shoot, managed to dominate the league they were in. Of course, they took their undefeated team into the final game on their schedule (you know, no playoffs, because, well, you know) and got way behind. However, in the second half of that game, his team made a stunning comeback and managed to tie the game as the clock expired.<br /><br />That's when we learned there would be no overtime either. It made things too competitive. So they called the game, crowned the teams co-winners, and invited us back the following year. <br /><br />I hated that league, and so did my son. It was an environment where losers were praised and winners were treated like they were bullies. <br /><br />But, he plays in high school now (football, not basketball) and they dropped that attitude pretty quick along the way. It's win win win or else there. Believe me, it's super competitive.Rusty Carlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09887821877521181811noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-44165620260719822152012-06-06T03:43:30.423-07:002012-06-06T03:43:30.423-07:00"To not become a winner because no one ever b..."To not become a winner because no one ever bothered to tell you that you were losing."<br /><br />I. LOVE. THIS. Well done, Andrew.Samantha Sottohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14116257082088369600noreply@blogger.com