tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post6384612677651907273..comments2023-09-29T05:32:04.308-07:00Comments on StrangePegs: Vampires: Day 2 -- "Locked In"Andrew Leonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13964775673414653644noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-17463486978374242162013-11-01T12:11:13.206-07:002013-11-01T12:11:13.206-07:00Tina: I'm glad you did. For the kind of piece ...Tina: I'm glad you did. For the kind of piece this is, I like it probably more than I should.Andrew Leonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964775673414653644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-71219344412726050352013-11-01T05:27:19.989-07:002013-11-01T05:27:19.989-07:00I liked it! I was surprised, not being a vampire ...I liked it! I was surprised, not being a vampire fan and all, but I like how you taught us about vampires without really using exposition. Of course, I like the part of about true faith being so powerful. Nicely done.<br />I agree with the commenters: 2nd person would become tiresome in anything but a short story. I think it's cool though that you challenge yourself to whatever your students are doing.<br />Tina @ <a href="http://kmdlifeisgood.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Life is Good</a>Tinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08925730745204736744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-6038510072084054932013-10-30T12:18:04.567-07:002013-10-30T12:18:04.567-07:00Briane: I have not read that, but I'll look it...Briane: I have not read that, but I'll look it up.<br />And I'm glad you like that line; I do, too.<br />Also, I was definitely shooting for more Stoker and less... everything else.<br /><br />I've heard of Abrams new book; I don't know how I feel about it.<br /><br />Lexa: yeah... And it's much easier reading it than writing it and trying to figure out ways to work around writing "you" one more time.<br />I'm glad you liked it.Andrew Leonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964775673414653644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-48318317980514277482013-10-29T20:09:21.336-07:002013-10-29T20:09:21.336-07:00I enjoyed the story, really liked the character...I enjoyed the story, really liked the character's voice and loved the twist ending. But I got quite annoyed with the constant "you" repetition by the third para. LOL! No wonder we all write in first or third. ;)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07735576044552810103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-22275623470605795212013-10-29T19:05:13.938-07:002013-10-29T19:05:13.938-07:00I just read some of the other comments on use of s...I just read some of the other comments on use of second person, and that brought to mind another point, or two. First, telling a horror story this way can work really well (as it does here) because it calls to mind a classic campfire setting, as if we're all sitting together and the storyteller is working us into the story.<br /><br />Second, Joshua Ferris wrote a book, "Then We Came To The End" that's written in the first person plural, I believe. He's sort of an experimental writer, I've gathered, but I've never read anything by him because I'm too nervous that the gimmicks would overtake the book.<br /><br />Speaking of which, have you heard about JJ Abrams' new book? I'm kind of fascinated by the idea. I might have to break down and buy a real book.Brianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01616494058636881575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-35847050110924244002013-10-29T19:02:21.378-07:002013-10-29T19:02:21.378-07:00WOW.
That was great.
My favorite line: "Whe...WOW.<br /><br />That was great.<br /><br />My favorite line: "When their fear reaches ripeness, you drop down amongst them bestowing panic upon them like a benediction."<br /><br />That line works SO WELL given that this is happening in a church and a benediction is a request for intercession or help. A vampire's benediction would be panic. That's incredible.<br /><br />What I liked best about this, too, aside from the fact that your use of second person made it feel more visceral, forcing me to feel the vampire's emotions even if I didn't want to, was that it managed to work the classic vampire vibe so perfectly. Vampires, done well, are excellent. This had a real Bram Stoker feel to it, but the touches that you gave it made it your own. Nicely done. <br /><br />Have you read "Vampires In The Lemon Grove?" It's a book of short stories, and the first one has vampires in it, but not quite your typical vampires. This sort of reminded me of that, too. In a good way.Brianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01616494058636881575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-84554431632594657492013-10-29T17:15:09.924-07:002013-10-29T17:15:09.924-07:00Pk: Thank you :) I like it in this piece myself.
...Pk: Thank you :) I like it in this piece myself.<br /><br />Michael: Well, yeah, but they are also kind of choose your own adventures. Not a linear story, at any rate.Andrew Leonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964775673414653644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-61372029389398936692013-10-29T15:39:03.729-07:002013-10-29T15:39:03.729-07:00Hey! I love second person for Dungeons & Drago...Hey! I love second person for Dungeons & Dragons modules and other roleplaying games. In that field, second person is all the rage!Michael Offutt, Phantom Readerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10557969104886174930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-80523834482467080122013-10-29T14:25:48.930-07:002013-10-29T14:25:48.930-07:00I think it can be fun on occasion. Wouldn't wa...I think it can be fun on occasion. Wouldn't want every book like that. I think you did it well in this piece. PK HREZOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11650153097981426833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-7164300628563332122013-10-29T11:14:30.997-07:002013-10-29T11:14:30.997-07:00Alex: It's funny that you say that, because it...Alex: It's funny that you say that, because it's supposed to be more connected.<br /><br />GP: Yeah, you really have to be willing to become the character, but the format isn't very good at sucking people in.<br /><br />Rusty: yeah, You were one of the commenters the first time I posted it.Andrew Leonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964775673414653644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-8928602418298819402013-10-29T07:40:47.790-07:002013-10-29T07:40:47.790-07:00I actually remember this story. I remember reading...I actually remember this story. I remember reading Nick Sagan's (Carl's son) Idlewind several years ago, it had alternating POV's, one of them was YOU! <br /><br />I was about to pull my hair out in frustration. That and he wasn't that big on punctuation marks. Rusty Carlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09887821877521181811noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-21580017522807098792013-10-29T05:54:24.470-07:002013-10-29T05:54:24.470-07:002nd person can be annoying. "You do this&quo...2nd person can be annoying. "You do this"...I am not; I'm reading this story!PT Dillowayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09394481476862013009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7658526372996117205.post-47600456571949812712013-10-29T04:07:14.430-07:002013-10-29T04:07:14.430-07:00I guess those kids weren't so helpless after a...I guess those kids weren't so helpless after all.<br />You're right - the constant 'you' would grow old after a while. Second person is so disconnected.Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.com